I swear by the old gods and I swear by the new I swear to this promise I will keep true By the Red God I’ll cook, by the Drowned God I’ll soak I swear, this is the last time I ever use this joke
-
Sweet meat pie, large meat pie How I love Rat Cook pie Love to chop and to serve traitor Freys First I cut off their heads Then I pull out their bones They’re so delicious when cooked in the braise
Rhaegar Frey, Symond Frey Jared Frey, a buffet! With a cleaver I hack them in two I pull out what’s inside And I serve it up fried Gods, I love little turncloaks, don’t you?
Here’s something for tempting the palette Prepared in the classic technique First you pound the Freys flat with a mallet Then you slash off their skin Give their belly a slice Then you rub some salt in ‘Cause it makes it taste nice
My gods, there’s another one!
Gods be good, Little Frey! Another, it seems, would repay The fine deeds performed by your house Little boy, what a loss Here we go, in the sauce Now you’ll simmer, I think, so you’re dowsed Now I stuff you with bread It don’t hurt, ‘cause you’re dead! And you’re certainly lucky for that ‘Cause you’d have grown to be Like the rest of your family For revenge is a dish Best served hot!
Laughing back and forth at what the others have to say Reminiscing, this-and-that’in, having such a good time Ooh-de-lally, ooh-de-lally, golly what a day
Never ever thinking there was danger in the water They were hanging the Freys, cutting them down Never dreaming that a scheming Mountain and his posse Was a-watching them and gathering around
Beric Don and his bros running through the forest Jumping fences, dodging scouts and trying to get away Contemplating nothing but escape and their revenge Ooh-de-lally, ooh-de-lally, golly what a day Ooh-de-lally, ooh-de-lally, golly what a day
The king he has his white cloaked knights, Against his armies all the lordlings pale, But you’re in luck ‘cause up your sleeves You got a schemer who has never failed You got real powers in your corner now Some first class plotting in your camp You got some punch, pizazz, yahoo and how See all you gotta do is grasp my charms And I’ll say
My lord, my lady, oh, What will your pleasure be? Let me take your order Jot it down You ain’t never had a friend like me No no no
Life is your tavern now And I’m your maitre d’ C’mon whisper what it is you want I’ll use it all against you later, gee!
Yes sir, I pride myself on service You’re the boss The king, the khal Say what you wish It’s yours! True dish How about a goblet of red wine?
Have time in my brothel, You want it, I can tell, I’m in the mood to help you dude We’ll see how good your secrets sell!
Can your friends trick wolves? Do your friends kill lions? Could they manage it to avoid all trials? Do you want go, poof? Well, looky here I have brought a ship, Abracadabra, let it rip And I make your red head disappear!
So doncha sit there slack jawed, Tully eyed I’m here to answer all your midday prayers You got me bona fide, certified You got a schemer for your charge d’affaires I got an awful urge to help you out So what-cha wish? To live like in a song? You got a list that’s three miles long, no doubt Well, all you gotta do is say it so - and oh
Good ladies, lords, have a wish or two or three I’m on the job, you foolish slobs, You ain’t never had a friend, never had a friend You ain’t never had a friend, never had a friend You ain’t never had a friend like me You ain’t never had a friend like me, hah!
You think I’m an ignorant wildling And you’ve been so many places I guess it must be so But still I cannot see If the savage one is me How can there be so much that you don’t know? You don’t know …
You think you own all lands south of the Wall The Earth is just a dead thing you can claim But I know every rock and tree and creature Has a life, has a spirit, has a name
You think the only people who are people Are the people who live and think like you But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger You’ll learn things you never knew you never knew
Have you ever heard direwolves howl to the northern moon? Or witnessed children of the Forest sing? Can you ride along the Giants of the mountains? Can you sing the song of the earth with the wind? Can you sing the song of the earth with the wind?
Come ride with me through the haunted forest Come see Gendel’s caves below the Earth Come leave the southern kneeler all behind you And for once, never wonder what you’re worth
We all hold together like sisters and brothers The giants on their mammoths are my friends And we are all connected to each other In our hope, for a summer without end
How high will the weirwood tree grow? If you cut it down, then you’ll never know And you’ll never hear the wolf cry to the northern moon
For whether we are bound or free within We need to ride along the Giants of the mountains We need to sing the song of the earth with the wind
You can own the Earth and still All you’ll own is dirt until You can sing the song of the earth with the wind.
Dear Shireen, listen to me The world of Westeros, it’s a mess Life under the sea is better than all of this big earthly jest!
The rocks are softer than silk Down there, in that big lake Your Dad dreams of ruling up here But that is a big mistake Just dive into the Narrow Sea And see in the ocean floor Such weird, odd things surrounding you What more are you looking for?
Under the sea, under the sea Cool down below, and this I know Oh, oh, oh, oh Up in the sun, war is the way From the far North to Slaver’s Bay While we’re devoting all time to joking Under the sea
Down there all the fish is floppy And seafoam is made of soap And merpeople will kiss you good When you drown and loose all hope Down there, all the snow falls up And rain is dry as a bone The birds have scales for feathers And there’s no sins to atone!
Under the sea, under the sea Everyone beats us, fry us and eat us In frickazee! All these warlords think I’m a fool But I’m wisest in that pool There are no troubles, life is all bubbles Under the sea! Under the sea Life is so good here, I’ll whisper in your ear Just come with me! Even all Lannisters and Starks Would put down swords and ride the sharks And start to dancing, joking and prancing Under the sea!
Yeah, under the sea Under the sea They go with the flow, and this I know Oh, oh, oh, oh What does Stan has, a lot of beef? Bet he won’t grind so much his teeth If he comes down, to my Fool’s Town Under the sea Even grayscale has no prevail Under the sea Winter’s not coming, nobody’s drumming That’s why it’s hotter under the water Yeah, just come with me and all this you’ll see Under the sea!
