The Peach in the South does not forgive (dedicated to Dracarya)

Brienne in the promo of episode 5, “The Ghost of Harrenhal”

Ndrew of Typhgarian:

So Flower chick aint even a virgin
But it aint Renly’s dick that she’s earnin
A baby boy is all she is yearnin
But it’s like trying to have sex with a Mermman

Fire&Blood:

That scene was so awkward
“Pretend I’m Loras and bend me over backward”
Margaery is no maid?
She knows how this game is played.

Lady of Oldcastle:

That bit made me pause the scene,
because with laughter I screamed,
“I turn around and you pretend I’m the knight of the Flowers”
That’s a whole new level of strange, but still didn’t raise Renly’s tower

In the pictures from episode 4
Titled ‘Garden of Bones’
I think I most definitely saw
Our king, is he being shown?

The Peach, The Peach
The Peach in the South!
Tell all the girls and all the boys
A squeal just left my mouth!

The Peach, The Peach
The Peach from the Reach!
I do believe our campaign worked
We bow to you, Our Peach!

by Fire&Blood

Let the dead have their well earned rest,
Ned and Robb and Renly and Ygritte and all the others were the best,
Time to support the living while we can,
Winter comes for us all in the end! 

By Lady of Oldcastle

Words are wind
Running sand
And if your teeth are left bare
You’d better beware!
You might loose them all
And feast forever on a porridge bowl.

Ygritte was kind and brave and wild,
She would have sliced Renly in two with her sword.
She dared to love a crow, but still went to fight at the Wall,
And where at that time was Val? 

By A Free Shadow

Brienne thinking about Renly:

I see what you think
I think what you feel,
I feel what you want,
but I can’t hear you, I

took part for you in a melee,
am the best “knight” I can be
Cumulate thousand crazy words
To make you notice me

And wherever you go
I am there by your side
If you have to fall on your mouth,
why can’t you fall on mine?

Chorus:
Oh please give me just one “Oh”
Please give me just one “Oh”
Please give me just one
Please please give me just on “Oh”
Please give me just one “Oh”
Please give me just one “Oh”
Please give me just one
Please Please give me just one word

It’s crazy how you smile
How you wear your crown with style
To show the whole world and me
You are a king meant to be

Your silence builds a fence
Between you and me, no chance
You throw the hooks and are
Surprised if
Someone like me gets hooked on them

In your presence talking turns
Into a stammer
I want to drown in your blue eyes
Be by your side forever

[Chorus]

Inside my blood the
endorphines are roiling
When behind your silent eyes
Your secret thoughts are boiling

[Chorus]

by Lady of Oldcastle

They told him don’t care if you hold Storm’s End dear
Just take Dragonstone and make your face disappear 
But Westeros is dangerous and death is always near
So peach it, just peach it 

You better run, you better do what you can 
Don’t care about the order of blood, I’ll be a usurper man 
You don’t have the men, and your new god will be damned
So peach it, but you wont enjoy that

Just peach it, peach it, peach it, peach it 
No one wants to be defeated 
Showin’ your lack of banners I don’t care of your past fights
It doesn’t matter who’s wrong or right 
Just peach it, peach it 
Just peach it, peach it 
Just peach it, peach it 
Just peach it, peach it 

Were out to get you, better leave while you can 
I’m gonna be a king boy, Even if I’m the younger man 
You wanna stay alive, better do what you can 
So peach it, just peach it 

You have a witch with you and I’m really not scared 
You’re playin’ with your life, this ain’t no Dragonstone affair 
They hate you, disrespect you,
Yes life it’s not fair 
So peach it, but you wanna be sad 

Just peach it, peach it, peach it, peach it 
No one wants to be defeated 

By Ndrew of Typhgarian

Renly’s gay let it be known
he bathes with Loras Tyrell
it is known
The Iron throne deserves
a good king
The Peach in the South?
That has a nice ring

By TomBombadil

Renly, what rhymes with Renly?
Something I can’t answer so simply
He thought his brothers were beastly
He was far more Kingly
With his Tyrell buddy, he did talk and pray
And during their midnight play
They struck a happy bargain
Marry his sister and a throne he will gain
But there was little love in their match
But that’s more than Slurms has had, because he’s not a catch…. 
And he was wondering if kindly Ndrew would give him some of his cheering batch?
If you know what I mean?? 

By Slurms McKenzie

Fragile Bird said Joff’s not a bastard 
Regardless a monster like a child of Crasters 
But we’ll talk later in general chatter
M’Lady, I knew Tyrion would be framed, I couldn’t be madder 

Speaking of M’Lady that’s a fucked up dream
Hopefully Wargless not a sleep of green
Reminds me of the North boy’s howls and screams 
The way Robb lost his life, for the sake of Westerling

Buckwheat the sweet, not sure about the order 
Mayhaps his death was discussed in A Feasts chap of the daughter
I think it was the Kraken but I also could’nt be wronger  
We should really know this like who pushed Balon into water

Fire&Blood smokings bad for you, but it is so good to be true
Congrats on cutting back, something I should do to
(while writing this rhyme I just sparked one up, I’m a fool)
Oh and Stannis is still alive, its funny he’ll never rule

Yes we all know who was the lamest in the Baratheon house
His life was pointless, just a way to look at Mel and say wow
Renly got cut open, it looked like a man with two mouths
But you already know who I will and have served
The Peach In The South!

By Ndrew of Typhgarian

A few acknowledgments:

Many thanks to Fire&Blood (my dearest Pod, now waiting to be knighted - will give details about the ceremony soon) and a Free Shadow (magnificient IT who’s now trying get the damn thing embedded on the Tumblr) for helping with the lyrics link research 

A HUGE BOW DOWN TO DENA BECAUSE HER LOGO IS SO FUCKING AWESOME AND APPROPRIATED 

Thanks to Lady, F&B, AFS, Buckwheat for the amazing song adaptations featured in the poddy;

And a big thanks to all our bards because without you there’d be no thread, no tumblr, no podcast :)

Links to the song adaptations featured in this podcast:

Fire&Blood’s Tully Blues

Lady of Oldcastle’s take on Creep

Buckwheat’s take on White is the Winter Night

A Free Shadow’s take on Savages

The King of our Hearts shall not be forgotten, not on this day, nor any day that will follow. Pledge your swords to our cause, the heroic Peach has to be on the show, this epic scene has to be written in!

THE PEACH IN THE SOUTH!

You were so soft, your taste so rich,
Oh mighty tasty Renly’s peach!
You lost your life when two kings clashed,
And your young blood around them splashed.

We will remember your great courage,
You were so brave and so enduring,
You rode a horse to the frontline,
To offer peace, but were declined.

Like a sun that shone so bright
For thousands of the Summer knights,
Swallowed were you into the pitch black darkness,
Ser Loras weeps now as no candle can replace you.

But HBO forgot heroic deeds of yours,
In the previews there’s only Renly on his horse,
And we demand the justice to be done,
Write in the peach! His memory lives on!

The Peach in the South!

Do not think we have forgotten our dear Peach, because we have not. We are merely biding our time and quietly gathering more swords in order to defend his honour. If you have no idea what we’re talking about, we suggest you read A Clash of Kings (all of it, but in particular the part where Renly and Stannis meet for a parlay) and look out for a peach, and also take a look at our previous cries for justice for our Peach. 

My lords and ladies, please pledge your swords, bows, warhammers and spears to this honourable cause. The Peach in the South shall not be denied or forgotten!!

Highgarden’s little beautiful Rose,
was supposed to tickle the Stag’s nose.
But shadows took him away,
so a Lion has the rose now to play.

This wedding didn’t turn out good as well,
King Festering Boil also went to hell,
not many people were upset,
now a Lion’s cub is her newest pet.

This Rose has thorns, though hidden away,
her hand in marriage is the end of your days,
let’s hope little Tommen stays alive,
for Margaery Tyrell’s now his wife!

by Lady of Oldcastle