King Bobby B was the man
He honored Queen Cersei with his hand
Speak again he told his wife
And i’ll back hand you again, that makes twice

Cersei was angry about the smack
So she plotted to get him back
She thought a boar and wine would work
Because her husband was such a jerk

Bobby B drank stumbled and was gored
He was no longer able to enjoy whores
The Hand held him tight as he watch is friend die
Not knowing his progeny was all a lie 

by the Bastard of Summer

Prince Rhaegar the Targ liked to rhymeWas never found short of a dimeA burst of excitementTook him to the TridentWhere Robert said “Stop. Hammer time!”
By Juanvito
shardsofbards:

picture by Dena

Prince Rhaegar the Targ liked to rhyme
Was never found short of a dime
A burst of excitement
Took him to the Trident
Where Robert said “Stop. Hammer time!”

By Juanvito

shardsofbards:

picture by Dena

“GORY HAZE” SUNG BY LORD EDDARD STARK


LORD EDDARD STARK
My good friend Robert was a fighter gone fat
Back at Winterfell.
He could wield a war hammer well;
Made me look like a green boy.
Kept from him secrets of the Tower of Joy.
I was thinking what he now was all about.
Wants me to be his “Hand!  “No!” I wanted to shout.
All he kept begging about was

Gory Haze, now his life’s a lie.
Bloody Phase, the years might pass him by.
Gory Days, Bloody Maze!

Bob had many girls he took to his bed.
He said “Ned, don’t worry; I need not wed.”
So he makes love. Robert grunts and sighs.
I try not to judge my pal, but in
My Stark eyes
He is creating a den of lies
And good-byes.
I guess some men like “them” good times.
I think the old gods will make him pay for his crimes.
When he thinks of Lyanna dying,
He chokes and then starts crying.

Gory Haze, now his life’s a lie.
Bloody Phase, the years might pass him by.
Gory Days, Bloody Maze!

Bob defined himself by the battle line.
Now he seems so blind.
I hate to tell him that he’s too old.
The king may toss me into the cold.
Once we soared as wards of Jon Arryn at the Vale.
But our true love, well, on that boat did sail!
I wish he was old Bob, but he’s gone and he can’t stand tall.
He drinks alone in his cold, dark hall.

Glory Haze, now his life’s a lie.
Bloody Phase, the years might pass him by.
Gory Days, Bloody Maze!

Now I do not want to start a fight of might.
If he wants to drink all day, his right, his fate.
And I hope I never get fat and drunk because
Our hour is late.
Our fears we must not fake.
So mind my word. I don’t know what to say?
Get it together before time slips away.
Bob never changed his ways,
And I’m tired of the old stories of glory daze.

Glory Haze, now his life’s a lie.
Bloody Phase, the years might pass him by.
Gory Days, Bloody Maze!

Glory Haze, now his life’s a lie.
Bloody Phase, the years might pass him by.
Gory Days, Bloody Maze!


by evita mgfs

Well Lord Robert had two little brothers
While he was being fostered in the Vale
They were like iron and copper but he was the true steel
And from his hammer any man would flee, oh, Gods
From his hammer any man would flee

Now Rhaegar, he said to Lord Robert
"I’m gonna take that girl that you love
I’m gonna bring that she-wolf down in Dorne
Don’t stop or I’ll knock you down, Gods, Gods
Don’t stop me or I’ll knock you down”

Lord Robert told his friend Ned
"Listen Ned, we have to stop this man
And even if that stupid prince knocks me down
I’m gonna die with a hammer in my hand, Lord, Lord
I’ll die with a hammer in my hand”

Lord Robert figthing on the right side
Rhaegar was coming from the left
Lord Robert says, “before you get to knock me down
I’m gonna hammer you to death, Prince, Prince,
I’ll hammer your fool self to death”

Well Rhaegar said to Lord Robert
"What is that storm I hear?"
Lord Robert said, “That ain’t no storm, my prince
That’s just my hammer in your chest, Prince Prince
That’s just my hammer in your chest”

Lord Robert said to Rhaegar
"Rhaegar, why don’t you sing?
You said that you would take the girl and knock me down
But I’ll put my spike through your heart, Prince, Prince
I’ll put my spike through your heart”

King Robert was given by the Mountain
The corpse of the heir to blood and fire
And even if he won, he had a broken heart
King Robert laid down his hammer and ruled, Lord, Lord
King Robert laid down his hammer and ruled

Well, now Jon Arryn found him a woman
Some descendant of the clever Lann
She got King Robert drunk, and a boar killed him
And that is how Cersei starts a war, war, war
That is how Cersei starts a war

Well fighters in the early morning
Every time a great battle begins
You can hear King Robert, as if he were there
You could hear King Robert’s hammer ring, Lord, Lord
You can hear King Robert’s hammer ring
I say, You can hear King Robert’s hammer ring, Lord, Lord
You can King Robert’s hammer ring


by Franz95

Raum und Zeit um uns steht still,
es liegt in meinen Händen,
der letzte Drache lädt zum Kampf,
hier und jetzt wird es enden.

Schwert und Hammer singen ein Lied,
das Lied von Eis und Feuer,
für einen Moment nur zögert er,
der Moment kostet ihn teuer.

Ein Wimpernschlag vergeht,
bleibt für die Ewigkeit,
ich finde mein Ziel mit aller Kraft,
und fühle mich befreit.

Als das Leben ihn verlässt,
schillern die Fluten rot,
doch was nützt mir dieser Sieg?
Ich bin hier und sie ist tot.


by Winter’s Lady

Translation of this one

O neznani deželi, na pol razdeljeni,
razdeljeni enako na Ogenj in Led,
o neznani davnini, v času izgubljeni,
pravi ta pesem, ki pojem jo spet.

Sedmera Kraljestva, združena v eno
pod Prestola železnimi meči.
Zahodnje je pokleknilo pred zmaji;
vse pametne starke in plašni dekliči.

A kaj se zgodi, kadar se zmaj
v mlado volkuljo zaljubi?
Jezni jelen vojsko zbere
proti temu, ki mu drago snubi.

Ob reki zmaj rubine zgubi
in v boju ne uteče pogubi.
Z zadnjo sapo izdihne
le ime te, ki jo ljubi.

Kaj se je zgodilo volčici?
Kako se bo zgodba končala?
Poznali bomo odgovor,
ko se spet srečata ogenj in led.


by Buckwheat

Existiu um dia uma terra
Em tempos que já lá vão
Em Gelo e Fogo dividida
Tal como diz a Canção…

Seven Kingdoms all united
By the swords of an Iron Throne
All Westeros bent to dragons
From shy maiden to wise chrone.

Ma cosa sucede quando il drago
Si innamora di una lupa?
I ribelli cervo arrabbiati
Sposta in avanti la sua truppa.

Près de la rivière du dragon a été tué
Et tandis que les rubis dégoulinant de son coeur
Avec son dernier souffle, il murmure
Le nom de son amour.

Wat is er met de wolf gebuerd?
Hoe werkt dit verhaal eindigen?
We zullen alleen zeker weten
Wanneer Ijs en Vuur staan klaar om weet te ontmoeten.


(First stanza is Portuguese, second English, third Italian, fourth French, fifth Dutch)


by Little Miss Sunshine 

I should wear the armour, just like him
Rule Seven Kingdoms, just like him
Making decisions like him, command like him
I so wanna act like he did!

I’m talking about, calling the shots on everything
What these Kingdoms need is a true Queen
Bring them all down!
Fear this golden hair and blood red gown

Wish we could switch up the roles and I could be that
A force to be reckoned with, someone you’d look at
And once I had the power, I’d never look back
‘Cause I’d have the final say, just suck it up wether it’s yay or nay

What if I kept you aside, your hands tied
Would you meekly play the role of damsel so shy?
Just sigh, be used as a toy?
Sometimes I wish I had been born a boy

(Can’t be getting mad, but you’re mad, can you handle that?)

Wish we could switch up the roles and I could be that

Girl, go ahead and be just like him
Fight in the streets, just like him
Go home pissed drunk like ‘em, whore like ‘em
Joust with your friends, act hard when with them, like them

It’s just ok when you tell a lie
For men there’s always an alibi
It’s ok in the dark
He has no clue you do have a heart

Wish we could switch up the roles and I could be that
A force to be reckoned with, someone you’d look at
And once I had the power, I’d never look back
‘Cause I’d have the final say, just suck it up wether it’s yay or nay

What if I kept you aside, your hands tied
Would you meekly play the role of damsel so shy?
Just sigh, be used as a toy?
Sometimes I wish I had been born a boy

(Can’t be getting mad, but you’re mad, can you handle that?)

If I was always gone, hunting boars, never home
Thinking of Jaime instead of you, apologies that aren’t true
Wish I act like you, spitting out after I chewed
That’s what you really deserve, dose of your medicine

If I hit you, would you like that?
Whore around, would you like that?
Said “Jaime”, would you like that?
Hell nah, you wouldn’t like that, no

What if I had your hands tied, would you be as shy?
What if I just used you like a toy?
Sometimes I wish I had been born a boy

Can’t handle that?

by Little Miss Sunshine

(feat. King Robert, Lancel Lannister and Queen Cersei)

ROBERT:
Blame it on Strong Wine
Got me feeling fine
Blame the Arbor Gold
Got me feeling Bold

Blame it on the a a a a a alcohol
Blame it on the a a a a a a alcholl

LANCEL:
Ay she say she usually don’t
But I know that she front
Cause Cersei know what she want
But she dont wanna seem like she cheatin’
I aint sayin what she gonna do
But ya’ll know what she’ll probably gon do
What you been feeninn deep insiiiide
Dont liiiiee noww

CERSEI:
M’Lord what you drinking ?
Gon let sink in
Here for the weekend
Huntin’
You can
See what you’ll be if Lancel press press forward
Just one more round and the Boar will know it
Fill another cup up
Feelin on yo gut what ?

I dont even care now
Joffrey will be king now

Fine
Just before Ned busts me, busts me!

ROBERT:
Blame it on strong wine
Got me feeling fine
Blame the Arbor Gold
Got me feelin’ Bold

Blame it on the a a a a a alcohol
Blame it on the a a a a a alchol

Blame the Sour Ale
Blame the Dornish Red
Blame it on the Wine Casks
Got you feeling dizzy

Blame it on the a a a a a alcohol
Blame it on the a a a a a a alcholl

LANCEL:
Oooo seer
M’Lord spilled some drank on me
And now im knowin he’s tipsy
The Boar put his horn through him
And he keep starin it right in the eyes
No tellin what he’s gon do
Cersei im about to show you
What you been missin in your liiiife when the King diiies.


CERSEI:
M’Lord what you drinking ?
Gon let sink in
Here for the weekend
Huntin’
You can
See what you’ll be if Lancel press press forward
Just one more round and the Boar will know it
Fill another cup up
Feelin on yo gut what ?

I dont even care now
Joffrey will be king now
Fine
Just before Ned busts me, busts me!

ROBERT:
Blame it on strong wine
Got me feeling fine
Blame the Arbor Gold
Got me feelin’ Bold

Blame it on the a a a a a alcohol
Blame it on the a a a a a alchol

Blame the Sour Ale
Blame the Dornish Red
Blame it on the Wine Casks
Got you feeling dizzy

Blame it on the a a a a a alcohol
Blame it on the a a a a a a alcholl

LANCEL:
M’Lord I kno you feel good
Fightin’ like you look
Couple more shots you’ll be open like a book
I aint trippin’
(cause ima read ya)
M’Lord I aint trippin
(I jus wanna please ya)

by Zar Lannister

Ballad of Robert and Rhaegar

(First line is Robert’s, second is Rhaegar’s, third is Robert’s again and so on…)

There are lions at your gates
I put them there myself
You have stolen my loved maid
Not harmed nor in distress

There are wolves at Storm’s end
My swords are somewhere else
You took her and raped her
I wed her and bedded her

Your battle is over, you have lost
Not my battle, nor has it begun
Your time is due, any last words?
The Prince, he shall come; Fire and Blood

by Liar

So old King Bob is well in his cups this one night, sulking over Lyanna’s death as usual, and suddenly bursts into his own sorrowful, drunk version of Adele’s “Someone Like You"…

I heard that he tracked you down
That you were kidnapped and gone missing now
I know that all this is true
I refuse to see the other point of view

Oh Rhae, why were you so sly?
Ain’t fair to take a bride from other guy

I had to rebel, out of the blue, uninvited
But I had to win you back, I had to fight him
And when I see your face, at night, I am reminded
That for me, it isn’t over

Seven Hells, I won’t find someone like you!
I had to marry Cersei instead of you… booh!
For your hand, I begged, I remember you said
“Love is sweet but can’t
change a man’s nature” to Ned…
I always think of you when I’m with Cersei in bed…

No matter how the time flies
I will never forget your bright, grey eyes
Even when I was awesome, back in the days
Guess you weren’t impressed by my whoring ways

I’d give it all for us to be reunited
And see if the spark of love could be ignited
And when you’d see my face, Rhaegar would be forgotten
And you’d say “I am so over him…”

Seven Hells, won’t find someone like you!
I had to marry Cersei instead of you… booh!
For your hand, I begged, I remember you said
“Love is sweet but can’t
change a man’s nature” to Ned…
I always think of you when I’m with Cersei in bed..

No one compares, or worries or cares
They say it was love, but I know it was theft
Seven Kingdoms can’t fill the emptyness you left…

Seven Hells, won’t find someone like you!
I had to marry Cersei instead of you… booh!
For your hand, I begged, I remember you said
“Love is sweet but can’t
change a man’s nature” to Ned…
I always think of you when I’m with Cersei in bed…

by Little Miss Sunshine

Robert the Red Nosed Reindeer

Robert, the red-nosed reindeer
had a very shiny nose.
And if you ever saw him,
you would even say it glows.

Always he was out and drinking
to laugh, to feast and fornicate
never thinking of his kingdoms
or realm’s matters to participate

Then one foggy Crownland Day
Robert came to say:
“Hey, let’s go a boar to fight!
And take the wine for my delight!“

Drunken he went out and hunting
but the boar killed him with ease
as Robert the red-nosed reindeer,
he went down in history!

by Walder Waters

My life is done, I watch it bleed,
Upon these silken sheets,
As vultures circle, keen to feed,
Until history repeats.

A mighty man, I once stood tall,
The bane of many men,
Against my strength, they all would fall,
As sheep in the wolves den.

My hammer rung like thunderclaps,
Like a deity on Earth,
I saw a Dragon’s chest collapse,
As he could not match my worth.

Yet still this man, he stole from me,
The only love I ever knew,
So I took his life and dynasty,
But I still could not have you.

Instead a crown of death and tears,
Is placed upon my head,
Yet every night, through countless years,
I long for you instead.

They take their toll on wanton souls,
In a marriage built on hate,
It’s wine and whores that now controls,
The conclusion of my fate.

I’ve gone to waste, my valour gone,
My oaths I’ve brushed aside,
For sixteen years I’ve struggled on,
Ever since the day you died.

I’ve spawned a son I loath to name,
On a wife I loath to see,
And I think of how, with great shame,
They will remember me.

An awful king, and no great man,
My dire shadow has been cast,
I’ll die knowing at last I can,
Be with you once more at last.

Such a strange relief, it is to go,
Far away from rage and lies,
To the final joy I’ll ever know,
When I look into your eyes.

by All Men Must Rhyme

She came here late last night
And said she loved me so
It didn’t matter anymore,
I’ll say I never cared
And that I never will
I’d do it all again
I guess I’ll have to wait until then

If I get drunk well
I’ll pass out on the floor now Cersei,
I won’t bother you no more,
And if I’m drinkin’ well
You know that you’re my friend
And I say I think I’ll have myself a beer.

She came here late last night
And said she loved me, so
But I guess she changed her mind.
Well I should have known it would be all right
But I can live without her
So where’s the next whore?

If I get drunk well
I’ll pass out on the floor now Cersei,
I won’t bother you no more,
And if I’m drinkin’ well
You know that you’re my friend
And I say I think I’ll have myself a beer.

Maybe some day, I’ll think of what to say,
Maybe next time I’ll remember what to do! (do, do, do)
She looks like heaven, maybe this is hell,
Said she’d do it all again
She promised not to tell!

If I get drunk well,
I’ll pass out on the floor now baby
I won’t bother you no more
(and she said) It’s OK Bob cause
You know we’ve got our kids and I say
I think I’ll have myself a beer
I think I’ll have myself a
Woaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ohhhhhhhhhh oh
Woaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ohhhhhhhhhh oh
Woaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ohhhhhhhhhh oh
Yeah Yeah Yeah!
Oooh oooh Oooh!
Woohoohooo!

By Dracarya

Ale makes you pale

Ale, ale, what rhymes with ale,
it makes you look pale
and feel dizzy and stale,
there’s no good at all in ale.

Wine, wine, what rhymes with wine,
just step in a line
of people so drunk they can’t even sign,
there’s no good at all in wine.

Mead, mead, what rhymes with mead,
it’s almost worse than the weed,
drop it at once, there is great need,
there’s no good at all in mead.

by Buckwheat