The Rains of Castamere
The lion in old Castamere
Once thought to be top of his peers
Lord Tytos was missing
But when came the drizzling
His kid made them all disappear
by Myrish Swamp Thing
Lord Tywin sent all of his drones
To fill the Red Keep with his own
That wasn’t moronic
But ain’t it ironic
He died on the Porcelain Throne
By Juanvito
The Baddest of ‘em All
I used to hate Joffrey the Prince
And think ill of his Hound
Got creeped out by Petyr’s mints
And speechless when Ned’s heads on the ground
Was mystified with “It should have been you”
And Sweet Sister is such a bitch
Of course she should get threatened, but Tommon too?
Now the Imp’s nose will itch
Marry Jeyne! I know where this is heading
Damn! Was I wrong, fucking Red Wedding
The Freys are the worst, makes Tywin look chill
But now Cersei’s worse cuz her father has been killed
Westeros is crazy, it’s a fucked up place
Thought shit was bad from Thrones to Crows
The worst thing I read was Brienne has no face
Untill they reintroduced my Mans Rams Snow
by Gingerly Grumkin
Most sentimental nights
I seat in the outhouse
Shoot me down
There is a crossbow here
And Shae is very near
So shoot me down
Shoot me down
Your hands, they flutter up
Armed and dangerous
My grotesque son
Shoot me down
In jakes
Stand back, baby
Stand back and let me breathe
I think I’m fallin’ out of here
I don’t defecate gold
Nor know where whores go
I can feel your breath against my ear
I might just disappear
Wouldn’t that be nice?
Yea wouldn’t that be nice?
Well wouldn’t that be nice?
I look into your eyes
Comes as no great surprise
You’re not gonna shoot me down
Shoot me down
I know that when you smile
It will only be just a short little while
Shoot me down
In jakes
Shoot me down (shoot me down)
In jakes (shoot me down)
Shoot me down (shoot me down)
In jakes (shoot me down)
You’re gonna shoot me down (shoot me down)
Oh in jakes (shoot me down)
Shoot me down
Shoot me down
In jakes
by Shagwell-the-funny-foe
Tywin and Lady Joanna
Your beloved wife,
The feeling so true.
She gave you advice,
Through you she ruled.
She was the strong one,
Who would have thought?
And when she was gone,
Your soul also got lost…
She gave you three kids,
The best from you both,
They had beauty and wits,
But also your worst…
To be heartless and cruel,
You taught them well,
Because you knew,
Love hurts like hell…
by only me
Happy Fucking Father’s Day, Tywin
From me to you
While you’re on the loo
I’ll shoot you dead
My whore’s in your bed
What kind of dad
Is always so mad
Looking down on me
Hate, no sympathy
You may forget
And I regret
That I’m your seed
And I’ll make you bleed
So with a crossbow
I’ll begin to show
How much you’ve hurt
Me since my birth
Happy fucking father’s day
You always got your way
But you won’t grow old
And you don’t shit gold
by Dracarya
Father’s Day - Cersei
I’m a woman! I said
Not some toy
If only I had
Been born a boy
Jaime fought with
Sword and lance
But upon suitors
I’d take my chance
To land a nice one
Who treats me well
But I soon woke up
To a different hell
A brood mare
To be passed along
To smile sweetly
And sing a song
I loved you well
Despite all this
Our snatched moments
Made of bliss
Father daughter
No mother in sight
You did your best
To see me right
But to you I was
Just a toy
Oh if only I’d
Been born a boy.
by Dracarya
Book characters vs TV characters - Tywin and Arya
A father to three, yet now it seems,
That Tywin would claim another,
A young girl who has noble dreams,
That the old man will not smother.
A Lannister Lord, not quite so cold,
As many have proclaimed,
To share his secrets never told,
With a girl so falsely named.
A father figure here is shown,
So truly unexpected,
A brilliant mind, already known,
Yet kindness, too, reflected.
Two keen minds in a single room,
One bordering on danger,
For around her still the shadows loom,
One slip, she’ll meet the stranger.
For Tywin seems now to suspect,
She is not who she claims,
No mason’s daughter could reflect,
On the history she names.
Yet still his fondness seems to grow,
Not merciless, as yet,
He does not yet wish for her to go,
So keeps her as his pet.
Alas, his dark side may soon show,
No remorse, such is his fame,
If Lord Tywin should come to know,
Poor Arya’s real name.
by JCooper
