The Prince Greyjoy Kraken could see saltwater in his veins
Who drowned the northmen like unswallowable rain
Took over Winterfell, The Turncloak had came
But now is swallowing cum from Bolton’s Grey Jeyne
Didn’t want Bran to get stabbed when the Wildling said drop it
So he unleashed the arrow, in the Wildling’s back, he had got gotted
But now is stabbed in the back, opened up like a locket
Does Theon wiry smile when he feels Red Jeyne’s red rocket
by Grumpkin Ahai (formerly known as Ndrew of Typhgarian)
Theon I never did like
Until he went to Pyke
There he found nothing
But he kept on hoping
To win his fathers’ love
He sneered at the gods above
Was drowned and reborn
Into Theon the Ironborn.
His sister was given ships
Twenty-nine more than his
But Theon would not tell
His plan to take Winterfell.
His attitude towards women
Treating them like playthings
Did not help his cause
But later he gave me pause.
When Ramsay was revealed
And in the dungeons Theon squealed
Theon lost his identity
And no longer saw himself as a deity.
Reek, Reek, it rhymes with leek
He ate the rat before it could squeak
His fingers and toes were flayed
And my hate could never have stayed.
Reek, Reek, it rhymes with meek
With tears my eyes did so leak
To hear his pain and read his sorrow
I kept hoping he’d escape upon the morrow.
Jeyne, Jeyne, it rhymes with pain
That’s what she got, with no gain
Reek-Theon tried to save her, yes
How he managed it is anyone’s guess.
Into the hands of Stannis he fell
Who did not trust him after Winterfell
But Theon has a secret he will not tell
Confess, save yourself! I do so yell.
Now what is to become
Of our dear Reek?
I hope it’s a swift death
Behind my fingers I’ll peek.
Cersei, the Stark mommy, and my godess Dany
I defend all three most vigilantly
But my Lord is physco, his thoughts are criminally
I never stick up for him unless I am rhyming
It’s hard to defend the Snow man, The True Heir Ramsay
Robb marched off to war, the North ain’t looking so good
A large amount of land in the clutches of the weak Lady Hornwood
Wyman and Rodrick protected her as a Lord and Knight should
But my mans Rams knew how to take that land, politics he understood
So he married her in front of a tree, by the Old Gods they had stood
Then she ate her own fingers, wonder if they tasted bad or good
Rodrick came to protect her, life ain’t looking to bleak
So before Snow got shot he switched places with Reek
Brought to the grey prison in the Winterfell keep
Was just chilling out till the Kraken came to creep
A self proclaimed foreign ruler like a Khan or a Sheek
Skinned the millers boys, the kids look alike
Winterfell is pissed, The Greyjoy’s not well liked
So his sister came to gloat, the dame straight outta Pyke
So Theon had to trust Reek, that was a good move. SIKE!!
And how can we forget the grotesque Flays?
His minds fucking twisted like Illyrio Mopatis’ maze
Wrote the pink letter, put Jon in his grave
Turned Prince Theon into worse then a slave
I think he’ll stab his father, give Roose a close shave
I want either the coolest death for Ramsay or he should live out his days
by Ndrew of Typhgarian
Dracarya’s favourite characters: Arya
Arya, the little animal
Is like no other girl I know.
She’s beautiful and brave
And she loves her dear Jon Snow.
She’s not a lady
Not her, that’s Sansa
If you ask her a question
She’ll give you an honest answer.
She doesn’t want to be a lady
She doesn’t want to be a queen.
Sansa calls her Horseface
But she’s a beauty, that will be seen.
Arya, the little animal
Escaped Kings Landing alive.
She took her sword and headed north
And made not one friend but five.
Arya loves dancing
The water dance, I mean.
Quick as a snake, brave as a bear
Fierce as a wolverine.
Arry, she’s now called
Or Lumpyhead, Nym or Weasel.
She’s clever, this one
And a secret, she’ll never tell.
Arya, the little animal
Escapes in a puff of smoke.
She’ll kill you dead if you threaten her head
No matter if you’re a girl or a bloke.
Favourite characters: Davos Seaworth
Onion Knight, brave in any fight,
Loyal until the end, for Stannis a godsend.
Saved many a knight in moonless night,
Lost parts of his finger, but became a Ser.
Seven kingdoms you can search, won’t find another Seaworth.
True words he always says, best advice he always has.
Staying true through any storm, now bringing Rickon back home.
From smuggler to king’s hand, that’s what you should get for being a good man.
by Lady of Oldcastle
Ndrew of Typhgarian’s favourite characters: Tyrion Lannister
The Once and Future King, began as Wart
So there’s no reason why the Imp won’t excel at court
Playing A Game Of Thrones cuz Westeros lacks for sports
And if Tyrion becomes older then Aemon, life will still be to short
When Snow was hacking at wood, the Dwarf couldn’t be calmer
Telling him to wear insults like a token of armor
A hopless romantic, luckily money’s a charmer
I knew the knife wasn’t his, and I was filled with horror
Similar to Ned’s demise, went out like a martyr
Speaking of Ned, Tyrion was a way better hand
Who out smarted Cersei as he sat and drank
Then raised up the chain, like he pulls up his pants
Sparked up the water, watched wild flames dance
Fought on the front line, like the Wildling Mance
But kept the persona of a dwarf, had an axe in his hand
Came back alive, just minus a nose
Married a Stark, but still kept his ho
Arrested for Kingslaying, but the Kingslayer said “go”
Should he find out where Tysha is, and fill up that hole
Or row to Dany but take a Dragon back like it’s a boat
Rickon we miss you!
Rickon, dear boy, where did you go,
that we have not seen you so long?
Now we saw three episodes in a row,
but nothing of you for too long.
Angry and frightened and noone with him
but wildling woman a wolf on the isle -
they should make an excellent team
once onion knight finds them in a short while.
OnionAhaiReborn’s favourite characters: Davos and Stannis
Davos and Stannis,
The Hand and his King,
One honest, one stubborn,
Together they’ll win.
At the siege of Storm’s End,
Many long years ago,
Davos saved Stannis,
With an onion cargo.
Stannis took fingers for crimes,
But gave a Knighthood for aid.
There’s a man of forgiveness,
Underneath facade staid.
Now Davos is risen to Hand of the King,
For honor and service, for blunt but true words.
If any ‘highborn’ person should dare to complain,
Then Stannis Baratheon will just make new lords.
Lady of Oldcastle’s favourite characters: Jon Snow
A bastard like me, but I know my mom,
Did never truly know where was his place,
Everyone thought the direwolves were gone,
A fact thanks to him we won’t have to face.
A lot think him boring, a whiny fart,
I can see why but to me there’s much more,
What many forget is his subtle snark,
And he sees the dangers that lie up North.
Faced with many troubles but manages,
The Wall, the Wildlings, a banker, a king.
Where others just see the differences,
He sees people, not some unknown things.
At communication he’s not the best,
Still I like him better than all the rest.