If truth be told, in Martin’s epic tome
He really is something of a gnome,
An old grouchy bear, all covered in hair -
No wonder the maiden to him wasn’t fair!
But the TV gods were rather more kind
And cast a sexy brooding type (to my mind)
With Ser Jorah looking like he does on HBO
Even a Targ would be mad to look at Daario!
Perhapth HBO ith not to blame -
After all, he hath a weird name.
Viewerth may mithtake the Hoat
And call him by the wrong-name Goat.
Plus the lithp might be offenthive
To thothe who have lithpth and are defenthive.
HBO might well cut
Everything but titth and butt.
Jaime, won’t lothe a hand, you thee.
Too many likewithe-challenged watch TV.
by evita mgfs and Dracarya
To HBO, From Vargo
My name ith the goat
Lord Goat if it pleathe you
I’m here in protetht
With the other bardth too
I’m here to athk why
My character hath no lithp
It’th clear that I do
Ith thith a trick?
My friendth the Brave Companionth
Would chop off your handth
For thuch an inthult
Upon our merry band
I cannot ethpress my anger
Enough, no thapphires?
It’th like having the dragonth
But having no pyre!
Thith ith a protetht
I come waving my thword
I will take your handth and feet!
For that, you have my word.
Okay, HBO –
Now , Sit and Behave!
Try to be brave!
I am not being funny
And we need to save some money.
we need to cut the cost
or our viewers will be lost.
These dogs cast as direwolves, I see,
Will not learn to bend the knee.
On Craig’s List I did spy
Some cast-off CGI.
They won’t water the set lawn
‘Cause they’re cuts from Breaking Dawn.
“Do you think that this is wise?
Our viewers will see the lies?”
A direwolf’s a werewolf, you see.
Don’t you dare argue with me!
It’s money we are needing,
not all watchers the books are reading.
I think it’s a go –
Don’t bother to say no.
You see where I am heading?
We want cash for the Red Wedding –
“It’s true? Is it for certain?
HBO has hired Tim Burton?”
The CGI werewolves, I hope you see,
Will look like direwolves on TV
-even in HD.
by evita mgfs
Judging by the reaction that Ned’s death got when the television audience saw that, I think I’m going to go to some part of the world where they have no television when a certain episode airs, and I’ll hide out and they won’t find me at all…I’ll have to hide from the Internet storm as well
George R. R. Martin on what I’m guessing is the Red Wedding [x] (via dothrakiqueen)
In GRRM We Trust
Just watched Blackwater again, and was riveted the entire way through. That, my dear HBO writers and producers, is how you write an episode.
Thank you, GRRM.
Catelyn Stark, a politician can’t be greater
But most don’t agree for some reason they hate her
Like their reading diffrent pages of paper
Who say Grey Wind should have looked at her and started to cater
But HBO is the real Catelyn hater
From the way fucking start, before “A raven has come”
Every line from her has been dumb
Started off with “Don’t take Bran, he’s too young”
As if she doesn’t know that she has a Stark son
When the kings feast started she made sure the Imp had rum
Her only concern was that people have fun
Her husband’s gonna be Hand and her advice is to run?
Said Game Of Thrones, of course we can shun
Who cares if a King could be your grandson
How in the seven hells is that a politician!
And what was up with the Baratheons kings?
I swear she didn’t say one fucking thing
Why was she behind Renly? Might as well be kissing his ring
She’s the regent of the Stark Dynasty! Like a Chinese Ming
And better then most characters which is no easy thing
They are Knights of Summer, not even Knights of Spring
When Uncle Stannis saw it he almost had a heart attack
Even Mommy Cersei started to gag
Papa Robert was pissed and he gave a kingly slap
But Joffrey did nothing like HBO’s butchery of Cat
By Monsieur LeDauphin Grumkin
Bran in the promo of episode 5, “The Ghost of Harrenhal”
Brienne in the promo of episode 5, “The Ghost of Harrenhal”
Dany in the promo of episode 5, “The Ghost of Harrenhal”
Stannis in the promo of episode 5, “The Ghost of Harrenhal”
Arya in the promo of episode 5, “The Ghost of Harrenhal”
Lancel, the Lannister badass