Little bird

Once there was some Little Bird

who ought to have married King Turd.

She married his uncle instead,

a drunk she found on her bed -

of those, she most likes the third!

by Buckwheat

Every time the sun comes down
close my eyes and pray.
You can hear the lonesome sound
of the wolf as she howls.

Listen to the rain:
Tickler and Ser Lorch,
Chiswyck, Polliver.

Feel the touch of blood that flows,
it won’t flow forever.
On one day the rage will stop,
all things come, all things go.

Joffrey, Cersei, Weese,
Ilyn, Dunsen, Raff,
Meryn, Gregor, Hound.

Late at night I drift away,
you can hear me praying.
And their names are in the rain,
leaves on trees whispering.
Deep red leaves, mysteries.

Even when this moment ends,
can’t let go this feeling.
All the names will come again
in the sound falling down
of the sky as it cries.
Hear their names in the rain …

by Buckwheat

Joffrey

There once was a king called the Joff
Who took poor old Eddard’s head off
He is such a brat
And acts like a twat
The whole realm wants him to fuck off

By Juanvito

moa-osen:

Artwork link:
http://phobs.deviantart.com/art/Game-of-Thrones-Prince-and-the-Hound-282697180

They’re Joffery and the Hound,Yes, Joffery and the Hound,One is an asshole,The other’s insane,They’re fucked up in the head,The world wants them both dead,You’ll see,They’re Joffery and the Hound, Hound, Hound, Hound,Hound, Hound, Hound, Hound,Hound.Before each night is done,Their twisted nature calls,They’ll place heads one by one,On spikes upon their walls.They’re Joffery and the Hound,Yes, Joffery and the Hound,Their twilight campaign,Is easy to explain,They both have tiny dicks,So they act like royal pricks,You’ll see,They’re Joffery, and the Hound, Hound, Hound, Hound,Hound, Hound, Hound, Hound,Bugger!
By AllMenMustRhyme

moa-osen:

Artwork link:

http://phobs.deviantart.com/art/Game-of-Thrones-Prince-and-the-Hound-282697180

They’re Joffery and the Hound,
Yes, Joffery and the Hound,
One is an asshole,
The other’s insane,
They’re fucked up in the head,
The world wants them both dead,
You’ll see,
They’re Joffery and the Hound, Hound, Hound, Hound,
Hound, Hound, Hound, Hound,
Hound.

Before each night is done,
Their twisted nature calls,
They’ll place heads one by one,
On spikes upon their walls.

They’re Joffery and the Hound,
Yes, Joffery and the Hound,
Their twilight campaign,
Is easy to explain,
They both have tiny dicks,
So they act like royal pricks,
You’ll see,
They’re Joffery, and the Hound, Hound, Hound, Hound,
Hound, Hound, Hound, Hound,
Bugger!

By AllMenMustRhyme

Guards! Fetch him the woodharp.
Bard - don’t make it long,
peform the ballad
here, for the court.

Oh! It was funny
and not really wrong.
I will be merciful -
Fingers or tongue?

It was the last case,
so hit the gong.
Why are you pale, bard?
I like your song!


by Nuncle Shagwell

A lion born from noble stags,
Young Tommen came to reign,
Bedecked in golden Kingly rags,
His crown, a golden mane.

The second of a golden pride,
So different from his kin,
For Joffery claimed the evil side,
The yang to Tommen’s yin.

Like light and dark, they shared a name,
Though nothing more than that,
For one loved causing hurt and shame,
The other loved his cat.

An innocence the name belied,
Stained by reputation,
Named King the night his brother died,
Dragged above his station.

The lioness buries her claws,
Into the cub, to cling,
And blind to all of Joffery’s flaws,
Corrupts the little King.

The little cub trusted his mother,
Not to turn him wrong,
Stamping seals, one and another,
Deafened by her false song.

Too innocent for vile feats,
Or cruel and wicked games,
He wished only to outlaw beets,
And give his kittens names.

For Tommens was a tragic rule,
A puppet, being played,
A kind boy in a world of cruel,
Trapped by the hand fate laid.

by All Men Must Rhyme

Margaery Tyrell - Wed me maybe?

I’d throw them all in a well
Don’t ask me, I’d never tell
I want my throne, seven hells
Aint no one in my way

I trade my soul without a frown
Armies and gold for my crown
I wasn’t looking for this
But Renly’s in my way…

Your stare was holding
You just saw your army growing
Hot night, wind was blowing
Where you think you’re going, baby?

Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy
But here’s my army, so wed me maybe?
It’s hard to be king, make me a baby
But here’s my army, so wed me maybe?  [2x]

You took your time, it’s your call
I never thought Renly’d fall
He gave me nothing at all, now Joffrey’s in my way
I’d beg and borrow and steal
Fatal wedding night, and it’s real
I had hoped that would be it, but Cersei’s in my way

Your stare was holding
You looked at me, choking
Hot night, wind was blowing
Where you think you’re going, baby?

Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy
But here’s my army, so wed me maybe?
It’s hard to be king, make me a baby!
But here’s my army, so wed me maybe?  [2x]

Before you came into my life I missed a crown bad
I missed it so bad… I missed a crown so bad
Before you came into my life I missed a crown bad
And you should know that… I missed a crown so bad

Now Tommen is king, he’s still a baby!
But here’s my army, so wed me maybe?

Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy
But here’s my army, so wed me maybe?
It’s hard to be king, you’re still a baby!
But here’s my army, so wed me maybe?

Before you came into my life I missed a crown bad
I missed it so bad… I missed it so, so bad
Before you came into my life I missed a crown bad
And you should know that

So wed me maybe?

by Winter’s Lady

Treason won’t go unpunished, Illyn go brush Ned’s shoulders off
Ladies have soft hearts, go and brush Ned’s shoulders off
Northerners is crazy baby, don’t forget Payne I told you
Get, Ned’s, head off his shoulders

I probably owe it to y’all, that Ned got locked by the force
Tryin’ to outsmart a Lord, that don’t know how to ride on a horse
Feelin’ no remorse, feelin’ like my hand was forced
Middle finger to the North, yea I’m griping my balls
Know the ladies they love me, from the back Sansa’s screamin’
All the smallfolk is bouncin’ they like the way Ned be leanin’
All my uncles be hatin’, off the crown that I’m wearin
But all the Lannisters love it just to see one of us make it
Acts like a lion from zion, now im at the top of the top
The North and Riverlands they could all suck my cock
Like Ned’s running back, or wearing black, man take his head off the block
Robb I don’t give a crap, because Grandpa’s straight from the Rock

Treason won’t go unpunished, Illyn go brush Ned’s shoulders off
Ladies have soft hearts, go and brush Ned’s shoulders off
Northerners is crazy baby, don’t forget Payne I told you
Get, Ned’s, head off his shoulders

You gotta get, Ned’s, head off his shoulders
You gotta get, Ned’s, head off his shoulders
You gotta get, Ned’s, head off his shoulders
You gotta get, Ned’s, head off his shoulders

Your homey Stark in position, with a dumb face like Hodor
I just pissed off the watch, a problem I’m sure they’ll get over
Gonna replace Northern Lords at the border, with a Lannister, yessir
Keep Mr. Sandor close, you know them Riverlanders’ll test ya
But like, Seven gods watch over me, I’m so believin
Now Seven treasons come, so Stark feel ‘em
Now, Seven commands roll out, Payne remove ceiling
In case Seven Lords come out kneelin, now you chillin’
with a boss bitch of course C.R. on the sleeve
At open court, with a traitor’s daughter on her knees
Could have got paid for mercy, but this King is too clean
Crowned Stag on the seal, I’m the monarch for real

Treason won’t go unpunished, Illyn go brush Ned’s shoulders off
Ladies have soft hearts, go and brush Ned’s shoulders off
Northerners is crazy baby, don’t forget Payne I told you
Get, Ned’s, head off his shoulders

You gotta get, Ned’s, head off his shoulders
You gotta get, Ned’s, head off his shoulders
You gotta get, Ned’s, head off his shoulders
You gotta get, Ned’s, head off his shoulders

Your boy back in the building, Westernlands are back on the map
Me and my beautiful bitch, gazing at her dead fathers cap
I’m the realest that run it, Ned just walked through a trap
I ain’t gotta clap at ‘em, Folks are scared off Illyn Payne’s yap
I drop that wear Black, Offer then I back out of it
Im the best King alive homie ask about me
From getting bit to biting, bringing the just to justice
The O’s to opposite, Orphan Joffy
You gotta pardon J, for sellin’ out Baelors Sept in a day
I’m like a young Aegon in his hey’
I’m a Lannister homey, you a sorry Ser crony
I see, Ned’s heads on his shoulders, could you brush it off for me?

Treason won’t go unpunished, Illyn go brush Ned’s shoulders off
Ladies have soft hearts, go and brush Ned’s shoulders off
Northerners is crazy baby, don’t forget Payne I told you
Get, Ned’s, head off his shoulders

You gotta get, Ned’s, head off his shoulders
You gotta get, Ned’s, head off his shoulders
You gotta get, Ned’s, head off his shoulders
You gotta get, Ned’s, head off his shoulders

by Gingerly Grumkin

Short of a head
Keep going ‘til he’s dead
Ned’s will roll, Ned’s will roll
Ned’s will roll on the floor

Screaming on KL’s streets
Blood pays for everything
Blackwater’s all wet
You’re all doomed

Stripped off galantry
Sansa is now fainting!
The block is all wet
With Stark’s blood

The men cry out, the girls cry out
The men cry out, the girls cry out
The men cry out, “oh no”
The men cry out, the girls cry out
The men cry out, the girls cry out
The men cry out, “oh no”

Short of a head
Chop, chop it ‘til he’s dead
Ned’s will roll, Ned’s will roll
Ned’s will roll on the floor!

Give a pass? It’s in the past!
Don’t shut your eyes, you’ll realize!
Give a pass? It’s in the past!
Don’t shut your eyes, you’ll realize!

Justice on KL’s streets!
Joff commands everything!
Her eyes are all wet
Her Dad’s gone, her Dad’s gone

Short, short, short of a head
Chop, chop, chop it til he’s dead
Short, short, short of a head
Chop, chop, chop it til he’s dead

by Little Miss Sunshine

The Rightful Claimant

It matters not who owns the crown
He’ll take it anyway
The largest army falls to him
With this, he plans to stay

“Cease this madness, foolish boy,
We’ll decimate each other.”
“You’re wrong,” he says, “it’s you who’ll die,
So bow to me, my brother.”


Two more kings vie for the throne
And say they’re each the one
The passed king’s brother of Dragonstone,
And, too, his “trueborn” son

“Begone, you vile evil brat,
It’s my crown that you wear.”
“And who are you to tell me so?
When I’m the rightful heir?”


The longheld reign of King Aegon
Has fled, yet still it lives
The dragon girl and dragon boy
Will take what’s hers and his

“The cursed Usurper stole my throne!”
The dragon queen decrees
“What of you? Our bloodline says
That throne belongs to me.”


As madness falls, the northerners
Have chosen to secede
The ironborn now seize their chance
And, too, decide to leave

“Some conqueror, long years ago,
Made us bend the knee
Those distant years have long since gone
We choose now to be free.”


The tattered Folk who stand behind
Their King-Beyond-the-Wall
Will fight and plot and war and try
To claim the land for all

“Who are you to take the realm?
It belongs to every man.
We’ll free you kneelers from your bonds
And take the bloody land!”


A dying race sighs dying breaths
Recalling what was theirs
Pushed ever farther, higher north
When foolishly they shared

“There was a time we owned the realm
All this, our native land
Forgotten, though, we fade away,
Too weak to make a stand.”


A cold wind blows across a field,
The ground a purest white
A gentle snow drifts calmly from
A sky of purest night

“Too many years of biding time
No longer will suffice
The truest kings return to claim
Our realm - with blood and ice.”

by Silver Spearwife

The Rhyme War of Kings

I want no friends, go ahead and call me a bore
You Lannisters are led by a sin-committing whore.
Might be i lost the battle at Black Water bay
But I am the rightful heir so go ahead and obey.

Shut up Uncle, I’m Joffrey your King
Incest my ass, Robert’s my father you stupid thing.
I don’t even know who killed me, that poisoned wine.
Whatever you say, The Iron Throne was mine.

I’ll take the Seven Kingdoms with my dragon-horn.
All the way from the cold Wall to the hot sun of dorne.
I will marry the Dragon-queen, together we will rule
Our dragons will burn, it won’t ever-again be cool

I am Daenerys, taken away from my birth-right.
Its hard to sleep at night, but i won’t give up without a fight.
It won’t be long when my Dragons and I cross the Narrow Sea
By then, I will have a large army and all slaves will be free.

None of you will rule, for we bring the cold
The others we are, no thurst for power or gold
But we will invade, and kill without a second thought
This time there will be no saviour, We will destroy your every fort.

by Davos’ fingertip

Ode to Joffrey

Thirty long days
he spent whining
And then, when his sword was thrown into a river
He started bitching

He was an authority figure
And so immensely stupid
That everybody realized
He wasn’t meant to be their Lord

He died as he should
In shame and in plain sight
Many people started to cheer
And continued despite his plight

by DR Supporter

The Baddest of ‘em All

I used to hate Joffrey the Prince
And think ill of his Hound
Got creeped out by Petyr’s mints
And speechless when Ned’s heads on the ground

Was mystified with “It should have been you”
And Sweet Sister is such a bitch
Of course she should get threatened, but Tommon too?
Now the Imp’s nose will itch

Marry Jeyne! I know where this is heading
Damn! Was I wrong, fucking Red Wedding
The Freys are the worst, makes Tywin look chill
But now Cersei’s worse cuz her father has been killed

Westeros is crazy, it’s a fucked up place
Thought shit was bad from Thrones to Crows
The worst thing I read was Brienne has no face
Untill they reintroduced my Mans Rams Snow

by Gingerly Grumkin

It is a good day for being multilingual

German
Spazieren geht Tochter von Winterfells Lord

mit Prinzen, nimmt aber ihr’ Wolfin mit nicht,
sie hören gefährliche Laute von dort,
wo Schwester mit ihrem Freund Fleischerlein ficht.

Ein Streit, ein Schrei, ein Biss, das Schwert in den Fluss,
die Schwester von Lady es hat geworfen;
die Königin sagt, dass Wolfin sterben muss -
Unschuldige, den Mächtigen unterworfen.

Slovene
Zimiška gosposka se gre hči sprehajat
brez volka, le princ njen je družba ji,
glasovi nevarni začnejo izdajat,
kje sestra se njena z mesačkom bori.

Prepir, en krik, ugriz, meč v vodo leti,
kamor ga sestrica jezna je vrgla,
kraljica ukaže, volkulji smrt grozi -
nedolžna je pod močnimi umrla.

English
The daughter of Winterfell’s lord takes a walk
with her prince, but without her wolfgirl,
they hear the dangerous voices of talk
where sister and butcher with swords around swirl.

A fight, a scream, a bite, into river flies the sword
where lady’s sister threw it in anger;
the wolfgirl must die, is the queen’s word -
blameless, under the mighty’s anger.

by Buckwheat

I met up with a king
He confessed his body was burning
I met up with a king
His body had begun to rot
And he said don’t think less of me
I’m still the rightful king, you’ll see

But no one believed him
No one believed him

I once knew a pretty girl
And she was in love with the world
And she loved a young prince
Who abused her body but never saw her mind
He took everything she had kept
And then he took everything else that was left

But no one relieved her
No one relieved her

He feels just like a king
As he marches down south
He feels justified now
There’s people thinking
Who’s the king now?
Well they don’t know anything at all
And we’ll go down in history
Thank the gods

So tell me do you believe me?
Do you believe me?
I bet you don’t
I bet you won’t

by Dracarya