Tyrion the noseless Lordling
Had a fight with his sis about his nose
And if he were to fight his father
The Imp would have to choke a hoe

All of the other Lordlings
Used to laugh about his chain
They never gave props to Tyrion
For mastering the only game

Then one exciting Wedding Night
Joffrey came to say
My that Pie looks mighty right
And won’t you fill this cups that’s past your height

Then all the Lordlings blamed him
Well short of brother Jaime
Tyrion the noseless Lordling
Is gonna change Westeros history!

By Hugor Stone

buchweizen:

What you know about ranging every night
Zombie Others everywhere, very Wighte
Hit the things, I could bury white
Countin’ up a million wildlings every night
Suprised your alive about every day
Chililn all day with convicted men, kind of gay
Wake up livin life like the Old Way
We be, killin’ that white bitch, Oh, Shae

Dragonglass has em smokin like exotic, ranging into foreign
Long night round trip, I ain’t talkin bout touring
Yeah, countin’ Others til ya gorging
Man fuck that shit where you goin?
Finding ancient treasure by the Wall, call it amtracks
Life sucks when Wildlings gotta watch your backs
Dirty white bitch, yeah that kat stacks
Folks don’t die or sleep round here, they take Cat naps
Bastard like Craster, mothafucka its the Snowey train
Swear the Long Night came faster than reinforcemnts came
Sometimes the Others be faster than the horse is
Free Folk ain’t watching and then them Wights is
Could end anyday and we know better
Small Paul still breathin, but cant be deader
Fist of the First Men, bet, Blue Eyes on their face
Free Folk deck, dagger by their waist

What you know about ranging every night
Zombie Others everywhere, very Wighte
Hit the things, I could bury white
Countin’ up a million wildlings every night
Suprised your alive every day
Chililn with convicted men, it’s kinda gay
Wake up livin life like the Old Way
We be, killin’ that white bitch, Oh, Shae


I woke up sayin’ I’m Nights Watch, but Im not Ser
Same night looking at Wildling saying I’m better
Leathers, Free Folk fights well in the weather
Got a man cryin, like he read the Pink Letter
Tryna look for Horns of Juwanna Mann or whatevers that word
I’m thinking oh yeah?, They say you ain’t heard?
On the day of battle so I’m seeing a dead bird
Got Ice on me so I think I’m Eddard
Uh, I’m about that life free folk
Bring you in the game, let you meet my wife free folk
Married to the Wall, asking if I’m gettin head shots now
I say I go for one heart like a mother fucking wedding vow
Stan’s Mans so they’re fighting for cheap
And you wildlings sleepin’ on me, you hope’d i’d die in my sleep
Oh Shae, yeah probably don’t get it
We the best that ever did it and got away with it

What you know about ranging every night
Zombie Others everywhere, very Wighte
Hit the things, I could bury white
Countin’ up a million wildlings every night
Suprised your alive every day
Chililn with convicted men, it’s kinda gay
Wake up livin life like the Old Way
We be, killin’ that white bitch, Oh, Shae

By Hugor Stone

Tyrion, near the end of Game

Lord Tyrion likes girls for their deviance
And paying is no inconvenience
When Shae was situated
He grew infatuated
And paid for the girlfriend experience

By Juanvito

Book characters vs TV characters - Shae

Oh Shae from the books
You get by with your looks
You’re a betraying whore
I hate you even more

For sleeping with Tywin
Your honour is so thin
Tyrion truly loved you
But you betrayed him too.

Oh Shae from the show
You’re different, I know
You’re kindly to Sansa
Ready with an answer

To the problem of her moonblood
You don’t tell Cersei like you should
You’re loyal, and nice
And if Tyrion asks, you’d think twice

About betraying the girl
The bird trapped in a strange world
Maybe you identify with her?
As you’re ‘Shae the funny whore’.

by Dracarya

Golddigger Shae

To this funny tune.

I went to capital with you,
I even worked as maid for you,
I called you my Giant Lion, it’s not true,
but I still did it ‘cause you pay. 

Gold, you know I’ll fight for you,
I stayed awake long night for you,
whether you are sweet or cruel,
I’m gonna f*#k you either way.

Gold, oh, gold, I gotta tell you how I feel about it,
‘cause I, oh, I can’t go a minute without your gold.
Like a satellite, I’m in an orbit all the way around you
and I would fall out into the night,
can’t go a minute without your gold.

Gold, I got it bad for you,
I saved the best I have for you,
you sometimes make me do things I hate -
would want to flee from Tyrion if I could.

Gold, my aim is to get you,
all I do is just for you.
I even undress wholly for you,
I did it just the other night.

Gold, oh, gold, I gotta tell you how I feel about it
‘cause I, oh, I can’t go a minute without your gold.
Like a satellite I’m in an orbit all the way around you
and I would fall out into the night
can’t go a minute without your gold.

Oh, gold, I gotta tell you how I feel about it
‘cause I, oh, I can’t go a minute without your gold.

Where you go, I’ll follow.
You set the pace, we’ll take it fast and slow.
I’ll follow in your way,
it got me, it got me,
a force more powerful than gravity -
it’s physics, there’s no escape.

Gold, my aim is straight and true,
all I did was just for you
I even undress wholly just for you -
I did it just the other night.

Gold, oh, gold, I gotta tell you how I feel about it,
‘cause I, oh, I can’t go a minute without your gold.
Like a satellite I’m in orbit all the way around you
and I would fall out into the night,
can’t go a minute without your
Gold, oh, gold, I gotta tell you how I feel about you,
‘cause I, oh, I can’t go a minute without your gold.

By Buckwheat

When the Game of Thrones I start to play
Dance with me, take me Shae
Like a lazy ocean hugs the shore
Hold me close, Shae I need more

Like a flower bending in the breeze
Bend with me, Shae oh please
In my chambers have your way with me
Stay with me, Shae be with me

Other people may kneel on the floor
Dear, but I bend my knee just to you
Only you have that magic technique
For you Shae I go weak

I can hear the sounds of violence
Getting close, it begins
Make me forget all this just for now
Shae so smooth, Shae please now (2x)

When the Game of Thrones I start to play
Dance with me, take me Shae
Like a lazy ocean hugs the shore
Hold me close, Shae I need more

Like a flower bending in the breeze
Bend with me, Shae oh please
In my chambers have your way with me
Stay with me, Shae be with me

by Winter’s Lady

Five favourite deaths in ASoIaF

George’s deaths are always fun
So I’ll make a top five list to my favorite one
Shae broke Tyrion’s heart, so he broke her lungs
Viserys’ death was just so golden
Lysa the crazy took a real long jump
The Tickler’s death “Where’s Dondarrion!”
But Cleos Frey’s skull gets smashed again and again

by Ndrew of Typhgarian

Tone Loc’s “Wild thing”, featuring Stannis/Mel, Theon/Asha, Jon/Ygritte, Shae/Tyrion. Enjoy. Let’s do it Workin’ nightfires all the time for my honey So when the job is done I go get wild with my bambi R’hllor under the sheets, I am your girl down for some humpin’ I winked my eye he got onto the ride made shadows for Kings hunting’ Introduce myself as Mel he said “You’re on fire” I said “I got the Red God on my team and I am the fire” Took him to Dragonstone, he said “I am the king” I said “Forget your queen if you know what I mean and you’ll see I’m wildfire Wildfire (x2) Hoppin’ on the shore looking for some horse to ride I saw this girl she cool rocked my boat and I had found my next saltwife She looked at me and smiled and said “I’d take you for a ride” I thought “Hopefully if things go well I’ll be riding you tonight” While we journeyed to her castle she talked about her brother My jaw hit the floor when she dropped the bomb that we share father and mother I didn’t know what to say I was hanging by a string She said “Hey you boo I’m a Greyjoy, too and I like to be a wild thing” Wild thing She loves to be a wild thing Wild thing Please Asha, baby please Joined the Nights Watch cause I’m an honorable type And when me and the crew left the Frostfangs I met a girl who stirred my pipe Saw this luscious little frame and under her furs she was so fine The sweet young miss I gave her a Lord’s kiss and I knew that she was mine Took her to the other side of the Wall of ice I took her over where then was closure and I had to die or ride Arrows flying at my back, to Castle Black now fleeing But that’s what happens when a black brother starts doin’ a wildling Wildling She was a fiery wildling Please Ygritte, baby please Wildling Doin’ a little show at the local battleground This fine young chick brought to my tent so I said what the heck She wanted to come to court and talked about her plans But I said stay for now but maybe later you’ll get your chance So when the talk was finished I took her down to play And what do you know she was good to go without a word to say We was all alone and she said “Imp let me tell you one thing I need 50 dragons to make you holler I get paid to do the wild thing” Say what Yo love you must be kidding Stop walkin’ babe Don’t break out of here Where do whores go, baby? Wild thing
picture by dena, words by Lady of Oldcastle

Tone Loc’s “Wild thing”, featuring Stannis/Mel, Theon/Asha, Jon/Ygritte, Shae/Tyrion. Enjoy.


Let’s do it

Workin’ nightfires all the time for my honey
So when the job is done I go get wild with my bambi
R’hllor under the sheets, I am your girl down for some humpin’
I winked my eye he got onto the ride made shadows for Kings hunting’
Introduce myself as Mel he said “You’re on fire”
I said “I got the Red God on my team and I am the fire”
Took him to Dragonstone, he said “I am the king”
I said “Forget your queen if you know what I mean and you’ll see I’m wildfire

Wildfire (x2)

Hoppin’ on the shore looking for some horse to ride
I saw this girl she cool rocked my boat and I had found my next saltwife
She looked at me and smiled and said “I’d take you for a ride”
I thought “Hopefully if things go well I’ll be riding you tonight”
While we journeyed to her castle she talked about her brother
My jaw hit the floor when she dropped the bomb that we share father and mother
I didn’t know what to say I was hanging by a string
She said “Hey you boo I’m a Greyjoy, too and I like to be a wild thing”

Wild thing
She loves to be a wild thing
Wild thing
Please Asha, baby please

Joined the Nights Watch cause I’m an honorable type
And when me and the crew left the Frostfangs I met a girl who stirred my pipe
Saw this luscious little frame and under her furs she was so fine
The sweet young miss I gave her a Lord’s kiss and I knew that she was mine
Took her to the other side of the Wall of ice
I took her over where then was closure and I had to die or ride
Arrows flying at my back, to Castle Black now fleeing
But that’s what happens when a black brother starts doin’ a wildling

Wildling
She was a fiery wildling
Please Ygritte, baby please

Wildling

Doin’ a little show at the local battleground
This fine young chick brought to my tent so I said what the heck
She wanted to come to court and talked about her plans
But I said stay for now but maybe later you’ll get your chance
So when the talk was finished I took her down to play
And what do you know she was good to go without a word to say
We was all alone and she said “Imp let me tell you one thing
I need 50 dragons to make you holler I get paid to do the wild thing”

Say what
Yo love you must be kidding
Stop walkin’ babe
Don’t break out of here
Where do whores go, baby?

Wild thing

picture by dena, words by Lady of Oldcastle

Wrong Shae

Shae walked thru the door, and Bronn said she was my whore
She said she’d always be loyal that was wrong, Shae
Don’t be afraid with the quickness you get laid
For a Lannister’s debts get paid
That was wrong, Shae

I gave her access to my crib,
It made it very hard to live
Salty tears running down to my chin
And my gold chain tore her whole throat up I dont want you to live

“Giant Lannister” spoken on her lips
But I’m not staring at her titis
That was wrong, Shae
Strong if I can but fuck it i’m half a man
So I take her to see my dad
That was wrong Shae

The only family that I’ve ever had (the only family that she’s ever had)
Was a lying brother, whore sister and a piece of shit dad (HBO said some mysterious shit, with a fucked up past)
Shae needed company so I put her on the kepp
Everything was going fine till the wedding of Joffrey

Happy are you sad, I kinda wanna shoot my dad
I would have done anything I can That was wrong Shae
Twas night and I tried to make it right
I didn’t want to fight
But that was wrong Shae

I’ll run away got no reason to stay
Cause you ain’t here to make you, oh no
It’s up to you what you really want to do
Spend some time back with!
Oh gods!

I gave her access to my crib
It made it very hard to live
Salty tears running down to my chin
And my gold chain tore her whole throat up I dont want you to live

So I ran away
And I’m not sorry when I say that to this very day
That was wrong Shae
My chain took a hike it don’t matter if I like it or not
‘Cause that only was wrong Shae

I gave her all that I had to give
She still wouldn’t take it, whoa no
Her two brown eyes are leaking like salty tears
And my gold chain tore her whole throat up Oh Shae you won’t live

by Ndrew of Typhgarian

Shae’s sex is on fire

Lay where you’re laying, don’t make a sound
Varys may be watching, he’s watching
Your quick promotion, to one of her maids
Has people talking, talking

You, your sex is on fire

The Tower of the Hand, you at this place?
My father lays dying, lays dying
Soft lips are open, skin turns so pale
Feels like you’re dying, you’re dying

You, your sex is on fire
Guess you were just a damn liar.

Hot with a fever, rattling my chain
Hands of gold strangling, strangling
I wanted forever, and not just a night
Oh, you were the greatest, the greatest, the greatest

You, your sex is on fire
You, your sex is on fire
Guess you were just a damn liar.

by Lady of Oldcastle