What you know about ranging every night
Zombie Others everywhere, very Wighte
Hit the things, I could bury white
Countin’ up a million wildlings every night
Suprised your alive about every day
Chililn all day with convicted men, kind of gay
Wake up livin life like the Old Way
We be, killin’ that white bitch, Oh, Shae
Dragonglass has em smokin like exotic, ranging into foreign
Long night round trip, I ain’t talkin bout touring
Yeah, countin’ Others til ya gorging
Man fuck that shit where you goin?
Finding ancient treasure by the Wall, call it amtracks
Life sucks when Wildlings gotta watch your backs
Dirty white bitch, yeah that kat stacks
Folks don’t die or sleep round here, they take Cat naps
Bastard like Craster, mothafucka its the Snowey train
Swear the Long Night came faster than reinforcemnts came
Sometimes the Others be faster than the horse is
Free Folk ain’t watching and then them Wights is
Could end anyday and we know better
Small Paul still breathin, but cant be deader
Fist of the First Men, bet, Blue Eyes on their face
Free Folk deck, dagger by their waist
What you know about ranging every night
Zombie Others everywhere, very Wighte
Hit the things, I could bury white
Countin’ up a million wildlings every night
Suprised your alive every day
Chililn with convicted men, it’s kinda gay
Wake up livin life like the Old Way
We be, killin’ that white bitch, Oh, Shae
I woke up sayin’ I’m Nights Watch, but Im not Ser
Same night looking at Wildling saying I’m better
Leathers, Free Folk fights well in the weather
Got a man cryin, like he read the Pink Letter
Tryna look for Horns of Juwanna Mann or whatevers that word
I’m thinking oh yeah?, They say you ain’t heard?
On the day of battle so I’m seeing a dead bird
Got Ice on me so I think I’m Eddard
Uh, I’m about that life free folk
Bring you in the game, let you meet my wife free folk
Married to the Wall, asking if I’m gettin head shots now
I say I go for one heart like a mother fucking wedding vow
Stan’s Mans so they’re fighting for cheap
And you wildlings sleepin’ on me, you hope’d i’d die in my sleep
Oh Shae, yeah probably don’t get it
We the best that ever did it and got away with it
What you know about ranging every night
Zombie Others everywhere, very Wighte
Hit the things, I could bury white
Countin’ up a million wildlings every night
Suprised your alive every day
Chililn with convicted men, it’s kinda gay
Wake up livin life like the Old Way
We be, killin’ that white bitch, Oh, ShaeBy Hugor Stone
“The night is dark and full of terrors”
Said Mel in her priestly-like tenor
She’s supporting Stannis
For he is the Mannis
Even though her sight may be in error
By Juanvito
In answer to a kind question from one of our followers … ;)
LES MISERABLES
FEATURING
“STARS”
RENAMED
“FLAMES”
SUNG BY STANNIS BARATHEON
In place of JAVERT
STANNIS BARATHEON
(In an aside while his army waits after King Stannis meets with his brother King Renly)
I did my brother Renly meet
How dare he give me a peach?
What does he hope to teach?
(To army at parley)
Get out of my reach!
(All run off, scared. )
(aside)
Renly thinks he’s so sweet –
Daring to take my Iron seat!
(STANNIS is alone; his soliloquy “FLAMES” follows:]
STANNIS BARATHEON
SINGS
There, out in the shadows,
My brother is cunning,
A pretty face!
Fallen from Grace.
Where my brother goes
Stannis shall follow
With gritted teeth
Till we come face to face.
Till we come face to face.
He knows how brotherhood goes.
Mine is the way of the Red God.
R’hollor is my sworn Lord.
He does not even nod at my God
So he shall have no reward.
So if he falls
As Robert fell
He shall have
Only flame
And my sword.
FLAMES Lighting the sky
Too bright to see
Too hot to count
I often ask why
You brighten the darkness
You are the guardians
Quiet and bright
Lighting the night.
Banning the fright.
Fire licks at the sky.
Flames reach up on high.
“Hear Renly’s name?”
It burns and it burns.
This is my aim!
And if he falls,
Crashes and burns,
He falls
In flame.
And so I say, so it is written,
In the fires of paradise
That those who sin
Never win
They pay a price!
R’hollor, please let me win?
So that I may see him
Dead in the ground
All safe and sound.
Till then
This I swear
This I swear
by the FLAMES
by evita mfgs
The throne is mine
The young king said
So says my army and
The crown upon my head.
The throne is mine
His brother said
So says the red god and
The woman in my bed.
The throne is mine
The Wolf king cried
So says my honour and
The Northmen at my side.
The throne is mine
The Dragon queen cried
So says my history and
My dragons in the sky.
The throne is mine
The Lion king said
So say my mother and
You too if you want your head!
by Dracarya
There was a man at Dragonstone
An old maester named Cressen
An oath he took many years ago
Now he serves Stannis Baratheon
He served the family loyaly
Thought of Stannis and his brothers as grandchildren
He could do nothing but watch helplessly
As his lord was corrupted by the Red Woman
His heart grew sad, and despaired loudly
As the man he served changed before his eyes
From a stern, hard man, now humiliating
Cressen blamed the Red Woman and all her lies
A deed must be done to save the man he served
A deed no maester ever spoke of
With a purple substance only know as the strangler
He hoped to kill Melisandre
In order to kill her, he had to die too
He had to make her believe his lie
She drank from the cup, it will be over soon
He had to save Lord Stannis’ life
He drank the rest of the poisonous drink
And soon his throat began to close
Melisandre watched him, she barely blinked
As old Maester Cressen fell to the floor
By Dark Night Full of Ninjas
The Lady Selyse has a mustache on her face
So it’s not crazy that she’s seen rarely by His Grace
Yet kings must have children even if they lack Florent taste
The solution is obvious, it is such a clear case
That Shireen’s real father, is her best friend Patchface
by Grumpkin Ahai
One from Melisandre and Stannis
Your eyes tell the stories of a day you wish you could
Recall the moments that once have
Retract the footsteps that brought me to your favour
I shouldn’t ask this of you
Good eye, Melisandre
Here I’ll shoot, you run
The words you saw in the fires
With the loss of friends I didn’t have
I’ll call you when the thing is done
Are you in or are you out?
For them all to know the end of us all
Run quick, they’re behind us
Didn’t think we’d ever make it
This close to safety in one piece
Now you wanna kill him in the act of what could maybe
Save us from war and what they are
Good eye, Melisandre
Now I shoot, you run
The words you saw in the fires
With the loss of friends I didn’t have
I’ll call you when the thing is done
Are you in or are you out?
For them all to know the end of us all
Bye bye Eddard Stark
You bothered to write
Disturbed by your words and they’re calling it war
My king, he’s down
He stepped, stepped down.
The words you saw in the fires
With the loss of friends I didn’t have
I’ll call you when the thing is done
Are you in or are you out?
For them all to know..
Bye bye Eddard Stark
You bothered to write
Disturbed by your words and they’re calling it war
My king, he’s down
He stepped, stepped down.
Bye bye Eddard Stark
You bothered to write
Disturbed by your words and they’re calling it war
My king, he’s down
He stepped, stepped down.
by Fire&Blood
So my dear viewers
Now I will attempt to explain
All the confusing characters
And prophecies, what a pain!
First we come to Stannis
The rightful king indeed
He’s spurned the Seven
For R’hllor, following Melisandre’s lead.
Next is Davos
Also known as the Onion Knight
That bag around his neck
Holds his fingerbones, what a fright!
“For the night is dark and full of terrors”
The red woman cries
But what is she going on about?
Who is Azor Ahai?
Azor Ahai was a warrior
A long time past
It is said he will be reborn
But who, I hear you ask?
The red comet is important
The sky does bleed
For Azor Ahai will be reborn
Amidst smoke and salt, we read.
And this hero will carry a sword
Lightbringer be it’s name
Which will fight off the coming darkness
And forever the hero will be famed.
What wasn’t explained
Is how Melisandre knows
That Stannis will be this hero
My uneasiness grows.
For she sees him in her fires
The Lord of Light gave her this power
But she may misread them
And for all we know, see a flower.
Next the confusing thing
Is little Arya Stark
We saw little and less of her
Her story is kept in the dark.
But fear not, dear viewers
For I will set you all straight
When next week comes
I’ll try not to be too late.
Cersei and Littlefinger
Oh, that was such a farce!
I was so disappointed
I’d rather have seen him on his arse.
Little Bran Stark
Is now Lord of Winterfell
But he dreams his dreams as Summer
But this he’ll never tell.
A little hint, for those of you
Who haven’t read the books
Beware the sea, my friends
It’s not as loyal as it looks.
By Fire&Blood
The war of five kings but who’ll be tho one
Cigarettes are deadly, probably be the reason why ill be done
Been about fifteen a day for five years, I’m quite dumb
The Doctors have a hundred problems with smoke touching your lungs
But who is to say nicotines my only addiction
Caffeine, sugar, and alcohol another deadly three
With two cokes a day one cup of coffee
The caffeine I handle is so much it is plenty
I could never gain weight, always been skinny
Three times a day I eat chocolate and candy
Drink about twice a week cuz my roommates are alcis
But I’m not a mean drunk I don’t turn into Ramsay
But Stannis is still alive, a king who’s not rot
Hated and feared but still ever hot
But he’s an outlaw king spends his life escaping cops
Or he could save the world, so why would my last addiction not
I’m a habitual user, even if it aint medicinal pot
By Ndrew of Typhgarian
Fragile Bird said Joff’s not a bastard
Regardless a monster like a child of Crasters
But we’ll talk later in general chatter
M’Lady, I knew Tyrion would be framed, I couldn’t be madder
Speaking of M’Lady that’s a fucked up dream
Hopefully Wargless not a sleep of green
Reminds me of the North boy’s howls and screams
The way Robb lost his life, for the sake of Westerling
Buckwheat the sweet, not sure about the order
Mayhaps his death was discussed in A Feasts chap of the daughter
I think it was the Kraken but I also could’nt be wronger
We should really know this like who pushed Balon into water
Fire&Blood smokings bad for you, but it is so good to be true
Congrats on cutting back, something I should do to
(while writing this rhyme I just sparked one up, I’m a fool)
Oh and Stannis is still alive, its funny he’ll never rule
Yes we all know who was the lamest in the Baratheon house
His life was pointless, just a way to look at Mel and say wow
Renly got cut open, it looked like a man with two mouths
But you already know who I will and have served
The Peach In The South!
By Ndrew of Typhgarian
Standing on Dragonstone where Aegon the first had confessed
The Red Priestess has powers I can believe no less
A historical event it shall not be suppressed
The night that we burnt down the sept
The night was cold but the fire couldn’t feel hotter
As I gazed upon the oldest ones
slaughter
The strong king god shall no longer be a bother
Now a ruler of nothing, a powerless father
The fire grasps everywhere the gods had been smothered
A few cries were shed for this goddess we loved her
But most had laughed, gave her up with a bugger
I didn’t think I’d see the day I would look upon my childless mother
It couldn’t be more beautiful nor scarer
To see the invincible god shrivel up and burn
The mightiest ever, now nothing but a urn
Are we strong or weak to murder the warrior
Few spoke any words, just the mutterings of Ravens
As we looked upon the loveliest pyre fire bathing
The fire turned most beautiful to that there’s no debating
Yet how could it look comelier then the goddess maiden
As the gods came crashing down the fire was made legit
The sound of blacksmithing tools quiet compared to the fires rip
The fire became structured as the flames became built
How can mere mortals burn and destroy the smith
The flames burned along time it had looked wise and old
As my eyes looked at the fire I could have sworn images were shown
Yet when the knowledge burnt up my thoughts still remained alone
But how can I learn from the fire if there’s no longer the crone
The flames grew ecstatic and we all felt the danger
The flames grew mystical yet they couldn’t be plainer
Understood life and death as we birthed and killed the slayer
Yet how can we recognize these flames if R’hllor is a stranger
by Ndrew of Typhgarian
Edric Storm, Bobby Baratheon’s clone
Although he’s a bastard Kings Blood he owns
If Davos wasn’t so noble there would have been Dragons of Stone
But soon in the series Gargoyles will be flown
Dany saw in the house of undying it was shone
The vision was so vivid her khalasar said it is known
So whether its Edric, Gendry or Mya
I’m down for giving them to Mel for a fire.
By Ndrew of Typhgarian
A few acknowledgments:
Many thanks to Fire&Blood (my dearest Pod, now waiting to be knighted - will give details about the ceremony soon) and a Free Shadow (magnificient IT who’s now trying get the damn thing embedded on the Tumblr) for helping with the lyrics link research
A HUGE BOW DOWN TO DENA BECAUSE HER LOGO IS SO FUCKING AWESOME AND APPROPRIATED
Thanks to Lady, F&B, AFS, Buckwheat for the amazing song adaptations featured in the poddy;
And a big thanks to all our bards because without you there’d be no thread, no tumblr, no podcast :)
Links to the song adaptations featured in this podcast:
Fire&Blood’s Tully Blues
Lady of Oldcastle’s take on Creep
Buckwheat’s take on White is the Winter Night
A Free Shadow’s take on Savages
Little Miss Sunshine’s A traitor That I Used to Know
