"The night is dark and full of terrors"
Said Mel in her priestly-like tenor
She’s supporting Stannis
For he is the Mannis
Even though her sight may be in error

By Juanvito

Ser Kevan

Ser Kevan had been just a younger brother all his life
But for the first time he was holding power in his hands
And he wanted one last time to meet his dearest wife
But he was forced to worry about the North and the Stormlands

The Grand Maester wanted guards, that he could not give
The people waited for the duels of frightening Robert Strong
The Queen was asking if his wife the Westerlands would leave
Autumn, everybody knew, wouldn’t last for long

Mace Tyrell, Hand of the King, was lusting for more power
The last Baratheon in the North would not give up the fight
A Dornish would soon break the balance of lion and flower
And yet none of that mattered, not on that last night

The Spider killed him the night, he didn’t greet the sun
Amaze and fear and not even the time to feel the anger
A quarrel, then the children started coming one by one
And as they came he noticed, in their hands the daggers

By Franz95       

Stannis took Melisandre the red
For he fancies the hue of her head
And so also goes
The bastard Jon Snow
Who still dreams of Ygritte in his bed

By Juanvito

Samwell Tarly sat at the Wall
Samwell Tarly had a great fall
All Stannis’s horses and all Stannis’s men
Couldn’t put Samwell Tarly in his place again


by Franz95

stannisism:

  • Stannis is so savvy with a blade, that when he cuts the fingers off criminals, they thank him for it!
  • Stannis doesn’t need a helmet in battle, his claim is THAT good.
  • Dragons wish they were the Blood of the Stannis.
  • Melisandre originally had two rubies around her throat.
  • Stannis ripped one off and threw it. This is the red comet.
  • Stannis is so manly that even his wife has facial hair.
  • A wildling woman once told him “You know everything, Stannis Baratheon”.
  • Stannis Baratheon once warged into a dragon, just to experience weakness.
  • Stannis once warged into Bloodraven.
  • Stannis made all the Storm and Reach Lords declare for Renly, just to give him a challenge.
  • Stannis once went camping in Valyria. This is known as the “Doom”.
  • Stannis has been known to say “I am Darkstar, and I am of the Night” and actually instill fear in people with it.
  • When Stannis started burning people, Targs started pretending they’d been doing it for years, just to be like Stannis (even making up stories about pyro kings and everything!).
  • Stannis once had a staring contest with Tywin Lannister. Stannis won.
  • The Mother was the Maid, before she met Stannis Baratheon.
  • Storm’s End was Storm’s Beginning before Stannis told it to stop.
  • In the land of always winter the Others say, “Stannis is coming”’, and “May Stannis take you”
  • Actual fact: there are two types of people in these books; those who are afraid of Stannis and those who ARE Stannis.
  • Knowing the Westeros wide renown of Stannis Baratheon: Badass, everybody and their best friend’s cousin tries to make up “badass” nicknames to match Stan the man’s fame. Sword of the Morning, The Mountain that Rides, The Young Wolf, Darkstar, the Demon of the Trident, Mother of Dragons, you name it. But there is only one STANNIS BARATHEON.
  • The reason it takes so long for George R.R. Martin to write a book is because he has to ask Stannis Baratheon for permission to mention his name.

RENLY AND THE AMAZING TECHNICOLOR KINGSGUARD


Starring

RENLY BARATHEON - JOSEPH 
THE RAINBOW GUARD ENSEMBLE featuring BRIENNE, MAID OF TARTH
CRESSON - THE NARRATOR
SER LORAS TYRELL - JACOB
STANNIS and ROBERT BARATHEON - THE BROTHERS
ENSEMBLE lead by MELISANDRE, QUEEN SELYSE, SHIREEN, and PATCHFACE
SINGING

“RENLY’S CLOAKS”

SER LORAS TYRELL
Renly Baratheon is the love of all my life.
I really think of him as my comely wife.
And Renly is my joy because
He reminds me of a cuter me.

CRESSON as NARRATOR
With fair Renly,  Loras  falls in love again.
Kisses him, praises him, gives all of himself, but then:
Renly’s brothers feel second best –
And even if they were–

BROTHERS [STANNIS, ROBERT]
Being told we’re also-rans
Does not make us Renly fans!

CRESSON 
But where they really miss the boat is -

BROTHERS [STANNIS, ROBERT]
We’re great guys but Loras doesn’t notice!

CRESSON as NARRATOR
Renly’s looks and perfect smiles.
Fails to slay them in the aisles.
And Ser Loras isn’t any stranger
To the ugly pending danger.
He just sees in Renly all his dreams come true.
Renly wants to show the world he loves His Grace.
To make it clear that Renly is his chosen one.
Loras buys his love some cloaks,
Multi-colored cloaks to wear.

BROTHERS AND ENSEMBLE lead by MELISANDRE, QUEEN SELYSE, SHIREEN, and PATCHFACE
Renley’s cloaks are elegant.

SER LORAS
The cut’s divine!

BROTHERS AND ENSEMBLE lead by MELISANDRE, QUEEN SELYSE, SHIREEN, and PATCHFACE
Tasteless, but the style is by far the
World’s worst design.
And this is why, they hurt our eyes.
We kings must stop to glare!

CRESSON
When his Rainbow guards try them on
They know their solid days are gone.

CRESSON, joined by BROTHERS AND ENSEMBLE lead by MELISANDRE, QUEEN SELYSE, SHIREEN, and PATCHFACE
Such dazzling cloaks of many colors.
How Renly loves his cloaks of many colors.

CRESSON:  
In a class above the rest,
They even went well with their crests.
Such dazzling cloaks of many colors.
How Ren loves his cloaks of many colors.
“They are red and yellow and green and
Brown and blue”

Renly’s brothers aren’t
Too pleased with what they saw

BROTHERS
We have never liked him
All that much before,
And now these cloaks
On these blokes!
Life just isn’t fair!

CRESSON
And when Renly hits the scene,
His brothers turn many shades of green.

BROTHERS
All the pastels make us sick!
None of the colors would we pick!

RENLEY and his RAINBOW GUARD, featuring BRIENNE, MAID OF TARTH
[Mega finale to song includes an hydraulic runway lowering from over the heads of the audience, and the Rainbow Guard, led by Renly, sashaying forth, strutting their stuff, modeling their cloaks of many colors in a synchronized dance as they sing.  Brothers and their Ensemble, dawning sunglasses to impede the glare from Renly’s cloaks, make faces, hand gestures, and mocking prances, displaying their jealousy and rage]

We look handsome, we look smart;
We are a walking work of art.
Such striking cloaks of many colors.
How we love our cloaks of many colors!

“They are red and yellow and green and brown
And scarlet and black and ochre and peach
And ruby and olive and violet and fawn
And lilac and gold and chocolate and mauve
And cream and crimson and silver and rose
And azure and lemon and russet and grey
And purple and white and pink and orange
And red and yellow and green and brown and
Scarlet and black and ochre and peach
And ruby and olive and violet and fawn …

RENLEY with SER LORAS [Counterpoint]
We look handsome, we look smart
We are walking works of art
Such striking cloaks of many colors
How we love our cloaks of many colors.

RAINBOW GUARD, featuring BRIENNE, MAID OF TARTH
And lilac and gold and chocolate and mauve
And cream and crimson and silver and rose
And azure and lemon and russet and grey
And purple and white and pink and orange
And blue”


by evita mgfs

Song: “Rainbow Guard”
BRIENNE OF TARTH as PERON
STANNIS BARATHEON as CHE
RENLY BARATHEON as EVITA
AIDE# 1  as SER  LORAS TYRELL
AIDE #2 as Random Rainbow Guard
Also featuring a chorus of Stannis supporters lead by Melisandre with comic relief by Davos, and Renley supporters led by Brienne of Tarth and Loras Tyrell.

BRIENNE:  
People of Westeros, I give you Renly Baratheon and his Rainbow Guard
STANNIS:
Westeros has fallen to the charms of Renly, Grrrr.
He can do what he likes; it doesn’t matter much.
LORAS: [to Stannis] He’s a man of style with a colorful touch.
AIDE# 2: [to Stannis] He filled a dragon pit of Meereen, a triple capacity seater.
STANNIS:
But if you’re prettier than Cerse Lannister, that’s not hard.
LORAS:  [to Stannis]
Robert’s reign has ended
Now Renly is an ally who
Wants to secure a vote in you.
AIDE #2: [to Stannis]
But more important Westerosi’s  political thought is -
Your brother’s a phenomenal asset, a trump card.
CHORUS: STANNIS AND  HIS AIDES, lead by Melesandre:
Let’s end it for the Rainbow Guard
They’ve been quite an uber fashion mess
We were quite sure, and we had no doubts …
STANNIS:
Will Renly win through?
BRIENNE:
But the answer is yes.
MELISANDRE: I SAY NO
BRIENNE:
There you are, I told you so
Makes no difference where he goes
The whole Seven Kingdoms over just the same
Just listen to them call his name
And who would underestimate the actor now?

STANNIS:
Now I don’t like to spoil a wonderful story
But the news from King’s Landing isn’t quite as good.
He hasn’t gone down like he thought he would.
They’re  unconvinced by the Rainbow Guard’s glory
They think the Lady of Tarth rather scary, can’t think why …
RENLY:
Did you hear that? They called me a WHORE!
They actually called me a WHORE!
 [ WORD FOR WORD]
DAVOS:  [To Renly, trying to be diplomatic]
But Your Grace,  it’s an easy mistake -
I’m still called A PIRATE
Yet I gave up that job long ago.
Aide #2:
More bad news from the Seven; he met with the Septon, I hope.
He only got a crystal, a kindly word …

STANNIS:
I wouldn’t say the Septon actually gave him the bird -
But it’s R’holler or else NOPE.

LORAS:[moony]
He still looked the part, he caught the eye.
CHORUS: STANNIS AND  HIS AIDES, lead by Melesandre:
Let’s end it for the Rainbow Guard
They’ve been quite an uber fashion  mess
We were quite sure, and we had no doubts …
BRIENNE:
Will Renly win through?
AIDES
But the answer is …
STANNIS:
A qualified
AIDES: yes
MELISANDRE: I SAY NO
STANNIS:
Renly started well, no question,
Shining like a Peach through the pre-war haze
A beautiful reminder of our care-free days.
I gave him his out, he sure had the chance.
But he had no interest – hmmm.
He looks a shadow and quite tired …
[to Loras with a wink]

Face the facts, the Rainbow’s starting to fade!
I don’t think he’ll make it to Storms End now

LORAS:
It wasn’t on the schedule anyhow.

STANNIS:
You’d better refold the sigils and ditch the parade.
After all, some loyalty to my dark brother is required.

[chorus]

Aide #2: Would Renly win through?

LORAS: And the answer is …

Aide #2: Yes.

STANNIS: And no.

Aides:  And yes.

STANNIS:  And no.

Aides:  And yes.

STANNIS: No

CHORUS: STANNIS AND  HIS AIDES, lead by Melesandre:
Let’s end it for the Rainbow Guard
They’ve been quite an uber fashion mess
We were quite sure, and we had no doubts …


by evita mgfs

You know the Seven are untrue
You know that Cersei’s a liar
Come to my chambers and renew
Some Shadowbabies before I’m tired

Melissandre, light my fire
Melissandre, light my fire
This shiny sword makes it all brighter!

The time in Dragonstone is through
Enclose the Stag in a heart of fire
Claiming now we cannot lose
Let’s throw traitors into pyres

Melissandre, light my fire
Melissandre, light my fire
This shiny sword makes it all brighter!

by Zar Lannister

[Stannis]
I’m better
So much better now
I see the light, touch the light
We’re together now

[Melisandre]
I’m better
So much better now
Look to the skies, give me life
We’re together now

We’ve only just begun
Hypnotised by drums
Until the Long Night comes
You’ll find us chasing the sun

[Selyse]
They said this day wouldn’t come
We refused to run
We’ve only just begun

[Melisandre]
You’ll find us chasing the sun

[All]
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
[Melisandre]
You’ll find us chasing the sun
[All]
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
[Melisandre]
You’ll find us chasing the sun

When daylight’s fading
We’re gonna pray in the dark
‘Til it’s golden again
And now it feels so amazing
Can see Him coming
And we’ll never grow old again
[Melisandre]
You’ll find us chasing the sun

[Stannis]
I’m never
I’m never down
Lying here, staring up
And He’s looking down

[Melisandre]
I’m never
I’m never down
Live forever, forever
With Him around

We’ve only just begun
Hypnotised by drums
Until the Long Night comes
You’ll find us chasing the sun

[Selyse]
They said this day wouldn’t come
We refused to run
We’ve only just begun
You’ll find us chasing the sun

[All]
The sun, the sun, the sun, the sun, the sun
You’ll find us chasing the sun

[All]
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
You’ll find us chasing the sun

Oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
You’ll find us chasing the sun

When the daylight’s fading
We’re gonna pray in the dark
‘Til it’s golden again
And now it feels so amazing
Can see Him coming
And we’ll never grow old again
You’ll find us chasing the sun

[Stannis]
You’ll find us chasing the sun
[Selyse]
You’ll find us chasing the sun
[Jon]
You’ll find us chasing the sun
[Melisandre]
You’ll find us chasing the sun
[All]
You’ll find us chasing the sun

When the daylight’s fading
We’re gonna pray in the dark
‘Til it’s golden again
And now it feels so amazing
Can see Him coming
And we’ll never grow old again
You’ll find us chasing the sun

Oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
[Melisandre]
You’ll find us chasing the sun
[All]
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
You’ll find us chasing the sun

by Dracarya

A Conversation

"This boy has started vexing me
Before he was even born
A shame for the family tree
My young nephew Edric Storm

You see Davos, he must die
For cold and winter will soon fall
Only dragons in the sky
The woman swears will save us all”

“Yes, Your Grace, I understand
But you will hurt him no more
Because I, your loyal Hand
Sent him on a distant shore

But I’ll tell you that the thing
You should be caring about most
Is being a trustworthy king
So go and smash Mance Rayder’s host”

by Franz95

The Rightful Claimant

It matters not who owns the crown
He’ll take it anyway
The largest army falls to him
With this, he plans to stay

“Cease this madness, foolish boy,
We’ll decimate each other.”
“You’re wrong,” he says, “it’s you who’ll die,
So bow to me, my brother.”


Two more kings vie for the throne
And say they’re each the one
The passed king’s brother of Dragonstone,
And, too, his “trueborn” son

“Begone, you vile evil brat,
It’s my crown that you wear.”
“And who are you to tell me so?
When I’m the rightful heir?”


The longheld reign of King Aegon
Has fled, yet still it lives
The dragon girl and dragon boy
Will take what’s hers and his

“The cursed Usurper stole my throne!”
The dragon queen decrees
“What of you? Our bloodline says
That throne belongs to me.”


As madness falls, the northerners
Have chosen to secede
The ironborn now seize their chance
And, too, decide to leave

“Some conqueror, long years ago,
Made us bend the knee
Those distant years have long since gone
We choose now to be free.”


The tattered Folk who stand behind
Their King-Beyond-the-Wall
Will fight and plot and war and try
To claim the land for all

“Who are you to take the realm?
It belongs to every man.
We’ll free you kneelers from your bonds
And take the bloody land!”


A dying race sighs dying breaths
Recalling what was theirs
Pushed ever farther, higher north
When foolishly they shared

“There was a time we owned the realm
All this, our native land
Forgotten, though, we fade away,
Too weak to make a stand.”


A cold wind blows across a field,
The ground a purest white
A gentle snow drifts calmly from
A sky of purest night

“Too many years of biding time
No longer will suffice
The truest kings return to claim
Our realm - with blood and ice.”

by Silver Spearwife

The Rhyme War of Kings

I want no friends, go ahead and call me a bore
You Lannisters are led by a sin-committing whore.
Might be i lost the battle at Black Water bay
But I am the rightful heir so go ahead and obey.

Shut up Uncle, I’m Joffrey your King
Incest my ass, Robert’s my father you stupid thing.
I don’t even know who killed me, that poisoned wine.
Whatever you say, The Iron Throne was mine.

I’ll take the Seven Kingdoms with my dragon-horn.
All the way from the cold Wall to the hot sun of dorne.
I will marry the Dragon-queen, together we will rule
Our dragons will burn, it won’t ever-again be cool

I am Daenerys, taken away from my birth-right.
Its hard to sleep at night, but i won’t give up without a fight.
It won’t be long when my Dragons and I cross the Narrow Sea
By then, I will have a large army and all slaves will be free.

None of you will rule, for we bring the cold
The others we are, no thurst for power or gold
But we will invade, and kill without a second thought
This time there will be no saviour, We will destroy your every fort.

by Davos’ fingertip

There Is A Fire That Never Goes Out

Take me away to fight
Where there’s ice and snow and free folk and they’re young and alive
Sailing in your ship
I don’t think I will ever go home
Because I need the northmen
For the war

Take me away to fight
Because I want to kill people for the Lord of the Light
Sailing in your ship
We’ll fight and free their homes
Because they haven’t got one
Anymore

And if a wildling with a bow
Kills us in the snow
To die by your side
Is such a heavenly way to die
And if the King-beyond-the-wall
Wins and kills us all
To die by your side 
Well the pleasure, the privilege is mine

Take me away to fight
Take we to the Wall to save the Night’s Watch I said…
And as we sailed beyond the Neck I thought I wasn’t sure I would come back
And then I started riding just in time to save Castle Black

Take me away to fight
Take me to the Wall to save the Night’s Watch I said
Oh sailing in your ship
I know that I’ll lose Dragonstone
But I am sailng North now
Oooh, I’m sailing North now…

And if a wildling with a bow
Kills us in the snow 
To die by your side
Is such a heavenly way to die
And if the King-beyond-the-wall
Wins and kills us all
To die by your side
Well the pleasure, the privilege is mine

There is a fire that never goes out
There is a fire that never goes out
There is a fire that never goes out
There is a fire that never goes out

by Franz95

Davos Really Really Likes Stannis

I would if I could
See Your Grace in the fire,
I would if I could
Burn my gods on the pyre.
I would if I could
Push a side the Red Lady,
I would if I could
Give you more shadowbabys.

by only me

I Follow Stannis

Oh I beg you, can I follow
Oh I ask you, why not always
Be the ocean where I can travel
Be my sire, be the water where I’m wading

You’re my river running high, run deep, run wild
I, I follow, I follow you, deep sea warfare, I follow you
I, I follow, I follow you, bright boom fire, I follow you

He a prophet, I’m the subject
He the rebel, I’m the smuggler waiting for you

You’re my river running high, run deep, run wild
I, I follow, I follow you, deep sea warfare, I follow you
I, I follow, I follow you, bright boom fire, I follow you

You’re my river running high, run deep, run wild
I, I follow, I follow you, deep sea warfare, I follow you
I, I follow, I follow you, bright boom fire, I follow you
I, I follow, I follow you, deep sea warfare, I follow you
I, I follow, I follow you, bright boom fire, I follow you

by Dracarya