Little bird

Once there was some Little Bird

who ought to have married King Turd.

She married his uncle instead,

a drunk she found on her bed -

of those, she most likes the third!

by Buckwheat

No matter how strong,
I’m gonna take you down
With one little bolt
I’m gonna break you down
And see if you’re gold
If you’re really gold to me

That feast at eight was okay
Before that toast full of blames
It was great until those false witnesses
Got us started up again
Unsurprisingly, it was decidedly me… again

Why is it so
That I’ve always been the one who must go
When your firstborn, though told not to flee,
Was in fact the one who, long ago,
Actually, left you full of sorrow
Stuck with me

So put up your hate and I’ll put up mine
No running away from the scene of the crime
Whores go to a place
Somewhere near the end of the world
Somewhere near the end our lives

So you see, Daddy, don’t be surprised
If I wanna see the truth in your eyes
Then I know it had to be, long ago
Actually, in that haunted meadow,
You killed me

No matter how strong,
I’m gonna take you down
With one little bolt
I’m gonna break you down
And see if you’re gold
If you’re really gold to me

by Little Miss Sunshine

Some impressions on the show …

Episode 3 has aired
I didn’t think I’d care
But I eat my words
Rightly you just heard!

Ser Goldenhand the Just

A character that’s a must

D&D, you’ve done well
Never thought you could write so swell!

My only confusion is Reek
What’s his game, is he a sneak?
Interesting turn of events
I hope the changes we won’t lament.

Little Cat made me sad
The Blackfish is a lad!
Robb ripping Edmure a new one
Made me laugh, go on my son!

The Hound and Arya, good set-up
Goodbye Hot Pie, made me well up!
Poor little Pod, such a sweet lad
Tyrion’s antics made me laugh a tad.

Give me the Unsullied and I’ll give you a dragon
Dracarys will come from Drogon
Valar Morghulis, said Missandei
Yes, said Daenerys, all men must die.

By Dracarya

Mummer Tyrion is better than none!

Remember dear Onion that Tyrion was born
in the Lannister household
to Lannisters sworn
He had no choice but to stay,
and support his idiot nephew
and his mother Cersei.

Had he left his house
he would have lost all
living like a louse
might have gone to the wall

Instead he became a traitor
to his family and his kin
he has lost it all
his title, worth, and dream

No Casterly Rock
no ladies to bed
no influence left
an act in a show

But Tyrion the mummer
is better than none
In time he’ll help Dany
so Westeros be warned! 

by Baitac

Tyrion’s take on Milow’s "The Kingdom"

Where I’m from there are some mountains
In the Reach, Dorne and the Vale
Where I’m from there’s barely space left
Yet they insist on this war tale

Where I’m from everything’s changing
Day and night, the Sept bell rings
Where I’m from there is no princess
Where I’m from there are three kings

Where I’m from they don’t like dreamers
They are told to shut their mouth
Where I’m from they’re divided
Between the North and the South

Where I’m from there’s now a Long Night
That may never turn to day
Where I’m from the kingdom’s trembling
Where I’m from they’ve lost the way

Sing it loud today
Sing it loud today
Sing it loud today
I am the one that got away

Where I’m from they live in fear
Heads are rolling on the floor
Where I’m from Blackwater battle
Left me nothing to fight for
Where I’m from words are repeated
But they’re worth less than a dime
Where I’m from the kingdom’s trembling
Where I’m from they’re losing time

Sing it loud today
Sing it loud today
Sing it loud today
I am the one that got away

Where I’m from there are less heroes
In politics than in song
Where I’m from the more they fix it
The faster everything goes wrong

To where I’m from I can’t go back
It gets worse with every day
Still I’ll tell myself that kingdom
it’s encoded in my DNA 

by Little Miss Sunshine

Tyrion the noseless Lordling
Had a fight with his sis about his nose
And if he were to fight his father
The Imp would have to choke a hoe

All of the other Lordlings
Used to laugh about his chain
They never gave props to Tyrion
For mastering the only game

Then one exciting Wedding Night
Joffrey came to say
My that Pie looks mighty right
And won’t you fill this cups that’s past your height

Then all the Lordlings blamed him
Well short of brother Jaime
Tyrion the noseless Lordling
Is gonna change Westeros history!

By Hugor Stone

Tyrion Lannister, known as the Halfman, lost half of his face on the Blackwater Rush
Sweet Sister Cersei, away from the fighting, quite safely got drunk on her cute little tush.

By Light a Wight Tonight

Tyrion, near the end of Game

Lord Tyrion likes girls for their deviance
And paying is no inconvenience
When Shae was situated
He grew infatuated
And paid for the girlfriend experience

By Juanvito

When to Westeros I can’t run
Is there room for one more Son?
One more Son
Trying to hold on
Trying to hold on, hold on

I wouldn’t live up, so he just said “go”
You know, you know - no you don’t, you don’t
I went from leader in the hearts of men
To just a badly injured and replaced Hand

And if my face aches, then so my heart breaks
There’s only so much that I can take
And your affection, well it comes and goes
But you won’t live to see my death, Dad, no no no no

Help me out
Yeah, Where are all those who’d help me out?
Yeah, they all fled after the Blackwater
There’s no one left to help me out

And when to Westeros I can’t run
Is there room for one more Son?
Though I fled across the sea
I still hate you, Cersei, like you hate me

Yeah, there’ no left to help me out
Yeah, not ever since the Blackwater
There’s no one else to help me out
But I’ll still bring my sister down
Yeah, I’ll still bring my sister down
Yeah, I’ll still bring my sister down

I got gold, so just hear me roar
I got gold, so just hear me roar

Yeah, there’ no left to help me out
Yeah, not ever since the Blackwater
There’s no one else to help me out
But I’ll still bring my sister down
Yeah, I’ll still bring my sister down
Yeah, I’ll still bring my sister down
Yeah, oh ever since the Blackwater
Yeah, I’ll still bring my sister down

Over and again, for one last big sin
Just look around you, your fall has begun
With all these things that I’ve done
All these things that I’ve done
If I can hold on
If I can hold on

By LittleMissSunshine      

I said, who’s that dick there?
I wonder what went wrong
so that he was so short and sick
he dont pay the girls that well
I doubt he gives them tips
it’s all not quite legitimate

And what a scummy man
Just give him half a chance
I bet he’ll rob you if he can
Can see it in his eyes, yeah
That he’s got a riding ban
Amongst some other offences

And I’ve seen him with girls of the night
And he told shae to put on her red light
They’re all infected but he’ll be alright
Cause he’s a scumbag, don’t you know
I said he’s a scumbag, don’t you know

Although you’re trying not to listen
Avert your eyes and staring at the ground
he makes a subtle proposition
He’d rather pay you, than turn you down

and oh, he must be up to something
What are the chances? Sure it’s more than likely
I’ve got a feeling in my stomach
You start to wonder what his story might be
What his story might be, yeah

They said he changes when the sun goes down
Yeah, they said he changes when the sun goes down
And they said he changes when the sun goes down around here
Around here

Look, here comes a Lords Carrage
Isn’t he Mr. Inconspicuous
And he don’t even have to say owt
She’s in the stance ready to get picked up

Bet she’s delighted when she sees him
stopping here and giving her the eye
Because she must be fucking freezing
Scantily clad beneath the clear night sky
It doesn’t stop in the winter, no

And they said he changes when the sun goes down
Yeah, they said he changes when the sun goes down
And they said he changes when the sun goes down
Around here

Well they said he changes when the sun goes down
Over the river,going out of town
They said he changes when the sun goes down
Around here
Around here

And what a scummy man
Just give him half a chance
I bet he’ll rob you if he can
Can see it in his eyes, yeah
That he’s got a nasty plan
I hope you’re not involved at all

By Hornblower

A little lion atop the hill
Looks down at all evil
A twisted demon monkey man
But a man with a head full of plans

He’ll save your dreadful city
But he’s so ugly, what a pity
We cannot love him so
He’s got a handsome brother, you know

She cannot see past
The deformed one that lasts
A Lannister he may be
But he’s got enough bolts for three

One for his father, upon the privy
One for his sister, eyes so shifty
One for her son, another mad king
And one for his brother, for the news he brings.

by Dracarya

The Misunderstood Villains

"Do you even know what honour is?"
The Blackfish snorted in my face
A horse, I thought
And a fish should know his place

You judge as if you’re perfect
You all scream and curse
There are no men like me
But there could be worse

Bugger your ribbons
Shove your swords up your arses
A knight’s a sword with a horse
I’m sick of mummer’s farces

I may be a murderer, and
You’re so different, you think?
Kill me, but don’t stand there
Like your shit don’t stink

I may be a young girl
I know little of the ways of war
But I’ve had my share of heartache
I’ve spread my share of gore

I’ve done some tasteless things
Taken with blood and fire
But I was reborn anew
When I walked out from the pyre

Watching is not seeing, dead girl
But I’m not really dead
I’ve killed many a man
Seen my father lose his head

Am I really a villain?
When did I change from a girl?
An innocent of war
Surviving in this world

I can cast a large shadow
For a very small man
I try my very best but things
Don’t always go to plan

I’ve done some horrible things
But I’ve been trying to survive
I haven’t had it easy
Between sisters, fathers and wives.


by Dracarya

Distribution

serve,protect and obey,simple vows for simple men to follow
rock,salt and iron price for iron islanders,they do not sow
a dragon and a hundred silver for Tysha,she was a hoe’

by Onarjyo Khsatriya

THE THING’S I’DO FOR LOVE (JAIME LANNISTER FEAT. CERSEI LANNISTER)


JAIME:
Ah! the things that I do for love
I killed a King and his Hand,
Ah! the things that I do for love
I’d never leave without you and that’s our pact.

But I’ll never let my brother Imp die right now
- Oh no - no way - I would do anything for love,
But I won’t do that, I won’t do that, anything for love,
Ah! the things I do for love, Ah! The things I do for love,
But I won’t do that, I won’t do that.

Some days you’re against Baratheons,
Some days you’re against the Starks,
Some days you’re against The Tullys,
And your treason theories just never end.

Some nights we sleep in King’s Landing,
Some nights it’s in Lannisport,
But the one in Winterfell was something I haven’t done before,

This twincest it’s crazy,
But it’s crazy and it’s true,
And the Faith can’t save me,
No one else can save me now but Brienne.

As long as King Robert’s been drinking,
As long as wildfires take burning,
As long as your dreams are coming true - You better believe it! -

Ah! the things that I do for love
And I’ll be there during the treason trial -
Ah! the things that I do for love
And I’ll take the white of The Kingsguard -

But I’ll never forgive myself if I don’t release Tyrion - Tonight -
Ah! the things that I do for love
Ah! the things that I do for love
Ah! the things that I do for love
But I won’t do that, I won’t do that…

I would do anything for love,
Anything you’ve been dreaming of,
But I just won’t do that…

Some days I pray to the Warrior,
Some days I pray to the Crone,
Some days I just pray to the Stranger hoping he will take my soul.

Some nights I lose the feeling,
Some nights I lose control,
Some nights I just lose it all
When I hear you fucked Moon Boy for all I know.

Maybe I’m just a Knight,
And that’s all I’m qualified to be,
Being all dressed in White,
The one and only promise I can keep.

As long as Lannister Gold is lasting,
As long as the Hand’s Tower is burning,
As long as your prayers are coming true - You better believe it - !

Ah! the things I do for love
And you know it’s true and that’s a fact,
Ah! the things I do for love
Even if you slept with two Kettleblacks -

But I’ll never let him rot in the black cells for you,
Gods No! - Gods No! - I would do anything for love,
Ah! the things that I do for love
Ah! the things that I do for love
Ah! the things that I do for love
But I won’t do that, I won’t do that!

I would do anything for love,
Anything you’ve been dreaming of,
But I just wont do that…

But that won’t stop me of releasing him
Any night of my life - No Way -
Ah! the things that I do for love
Ah! the things that I do for love
Ah! the things that I do for love
But I won’t do that, I won’t do that!

CERSEI:
Will you shave your beard?
Will you keep your locks?
Will you get me Moon Tea to get rid of Robert’s Child?
Will you make my Winters a little less cold?

JAIME:
I can do that!
I can do that!

CERSEI:
Will you push down children
who catch us by surprise?
Would you tell Lord Tywin you’ll be wearing the white?
Can you give me your claim to Casterly Rock?

JAIME:
I can do that!
I can do that!

CERSEI:
Will you keep clutching to my ankle like when we were born?
Will you be Lord Commander of sweet Tommen’s Kingsguard?
Can you give me three Children so I can be a mom?

JAIME:
I can do that!
I can do that!

CERSEI :
Will you cater to every evil scheme that I’ve got?
Will you bed me at my will, when I disguise in peasant clothes?
Will you sleep with me in my bed when Robert passes out drunk?

JAIME:
I can do that!
I can do that!

CERSEI:
After a while you’ll realize everything is true,
Tyrion is evil, that monstrous little Imp,
And you’ll see that it’s time to kill him off.

JAIME:
I won’t do that!
I won’t do that!

CERSEI:
I’ve known the Prophecy since I was very young,
another will come and she will cast me down,
And my valonqar will choke away my life…

JAIME:
I won’t do that!
I won’t do that!

by Zar Lannister

Tyrion speaking to the City Watch before charging to defend KL in the Battle of Blackwater Rush
(with very minimal changes from original)

So go proclaim it, sellsword, through my host,
That he which hath no stomach to this fight,
Let him depart; his passport shall be made
And dragons for convoy put into his purse:
We would not die in that man’s company
That fears his fellowship to die with us.
This day they shall call the Blackwater Day:
He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,
Will stand a tip-toe when the day is named,
And rouse him at the name of the Warrior.
He that shall live this day, and see old age,
Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours,
And say ‘To-morrow is Blackwater Day:’
Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars.
And say ‘These wounds I had on Blackwater Rush.’
Old men forget: yet all shall be forgot,
But he’ll remember with advantages
What feats he did that day: then shall our names.
This story shall the good man teach his son;
And Blackwater Day shall ne’er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remember’d;
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne’er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition:
And gentlemen in the Reach now a-bed
Shall think themselves accursed they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Blackwater Day.


Note I reserve the right to recast this one post-battle of the Others to fit accordingly

by MrsManderly